Praying for this hurricane so I can get a Monday off. PGP.

“running errands” during your lunch break just to get away from this place

Already starting to talk about New Years plans.

A: This coffee tastes like shitB: Don’t you drink it daily though?A: Yeah, its free

That moment when you realize your parents were right. About everything. PGP.

A guy named Michael Hunt just started in my company today. I’m probably going to get fired. PGP.

I will not check my work email before my vacation is over. I will not check my work email before my vacation is over. I will not…shit!

Trying to motivate subordinates with the Cobra Kai “defeat does not exist in my dojo” chant.

My “corporate extended stay apartment” is smaller than my bedroom at home

My stock broker called me today “hey bud, are you going to need any of the money you invested in the next year or so? Because the market is going to shit”

Just introduced myself to someone for the 4th time since starting this job 2 months ago. PGP.

Telling your boss that you love her when your blacked out and hearing about it on Monday.