Looking at vacations I’ll never be able to afford. PGP.

Telling the interns stories that start with “back in my day.” PGP.

Not getting drunk on the weekends. PGP.

What the fuck happened? PGP.

Being publicly uninvited to group lunches. PGP.

Spent lunch in traffic school. PGP.

My only regret from college is that I didn’t appreciate my hair when I still had the chance. PGP.

I actually have a lot of responsibility and very little oversight at my job. It’s terrifying. PGP.

“We’ve decided to go with other, more qualified candidates.” PGP.

Working in a male dominated office, no one wants to talk about the final rose ceremony. PGP.

Being used as a pawn in someone else’s office power play. PGP.

The intern is more productive than I am. PGP.

The person that talks to me the most during the day is the voice in the elevator. PGP.

I just lost all respect for my coworker because she doesn’t like Chipotle. PGP.

Feeling better about “Nice work” coming from PGP than your own boss. PGP.

The most attractive girls at the office are always the summer interns. PGP.

That 25-minute early morning poop/Tinder sesh starting your day off right. PGP.

I’ve gotten several compliments on my new car the last few days. It’s a rental. PGP.

I am so used to making the “jerking off” motion under my desk while on the phone. Yesterday I accidentally made it while talking to a manager. I am still praying he did not notice. PGP.

Putting way too much thought into categorizing your phone apps while on the toilet. PGP.