Preparing a lie ahead of time for when coworkers ask about weekend plans

Land at LAX. Shuttle to the parking lot almost takes longer than flight. PGP.

Feeling a little guilty on Saturday about taking off the Friday before Labor Day weekend. PGP.

“I need a drink.” PGP.

I put out a literal fire this morning.

My boss’s solitaire is candy crush. PGP.

Mid-meeting I got asked why I was there. PGP.

Not sure if my boss is unaware of his use of double entendre or if he’s just a perv. PGP.

Being troubled by how excited you get about incoming calls from unknown numbers when you’re looking for a (better) job. PGP.

Every day I wake up balder and fatter. PGP.

Friday I’m leaving town to go watch college football for 4 days straight. I might never come back. PGP.

Just took an hour to fill out an expense report. PGP.