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Anthony Bourdain Thinks You’re A Douchebag For Liking Trendy Foods

Anthony Bourdain Thinks You're A Douchebag For Liking Trendy Foods

Anthony Bourdain would hate me. And honestly, he’d probably hate you too. Because at the core, I have a theory that he probably hates everyone.

But more specifically, we know he hates douchebags who brunch and eat kobe sliders. “There is no food crime worse — in fact the very epicentre of douchedom is the kobe slider,” he told The Independent. Like you, I immediately tried to think of the last time I ordered kobe sliders (and it was probably way more recent than I’d like to admit). Though, his justification his somewhat hilarious.

He continued, “If you see kobe slider on a menu at a restaurant that you’ve walked into, turn on your heels and leave. No good will come of this, it will just be a sea of high-fiving hedge funders and people you do not want anywhere near you.” Not to sound like a huge tool, but like, sometimes hanging out with high-fiving head funders sounds like more fun than hanging out with food snobs. Not saying I want to do it all the time, but probably one Friday per month, my inner-douchebag wants to come out to play. Sure, in between those times, I just want to relax and end my drinking at 2 p.m. when brunch ends. And he hates that too (but we kind of already knew that).

In his interview, Bourdain went on to explain in regard to brunch that it’s just a “horrible, cynical way of unloading leftovers and charging three times as much as you ordinarily charge for breakfast.” And yeah, he’s right, but restaurants will probably never stop serving it considering how much we’ve shown we’re willing to pay for it.

The only other thing he decided to condemn? Truffle oil, which he described as “about as edible as Astroglide and made from the same stuff.” I don’t know what he means by that because I think it’s delicious, but there’s a 100% chance I use that line when I’m out next and I need to big-time someone who orders something with truffle oil.

Now if you don’t mind me, I’m going to scour the internet for what he does think is acceptable to eat. I was supposed to get a poke bowl for dinner tonight but I probably need to change those plans. And hey – speaking of, what’s for dinner tonight, everyone?

[via The Independent]

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Will

Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at will@grandex.co.

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