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I was having beers with a buddy the other day. We used to party together all the time, and it’s always fun to relive the glory days, reminiscing of better, more carefree times. Beers became dinner, as I had some leftover chili (I have a mean chili game), and we ended up having an impromptu hangout session for four hours.
He works in the same building as me, yet we rarely see each other. We both still live in the same town, yet finding a time to do anything is damn near impossible.
As we get older, more variables come into play. My buddy that got married and made me his best man? Lucky to see him once a year after his daughter was born. It’s like high school again: everyone moved away, and keeping contact ranges from a walk down the hallway to a six hour car ride. People get girlfriends and boyfriends, wives and husbands, planned and unplanned kids, or some just drop off the face of the earth. This happenstance has me in a rut.
In my friend group, I always plan everything, from bachelor party ideas, to tailgates, to where people stay when they come in to visit. It is tasking at times but very rewarding. Reeling people in is a life skill that everyone should cultivate.You ever meet people that always say, “Hey, we should catch up!” but never call, text or respond? I hate them. I’m the one that always calls people. I’m always on time, and for good reason.
Back in college, I could open my door and see five friends. At any given hour, someone was awake, ready to drink beers, play vidjya games or smoke pot together and hang out. Some of the best nights were spent in a room, passing around a bottle of Evan Williams, drinking 40s, smoking a bowl and watching Grandma’s Boy while talking about life, ambitions and the future of the girl you dated that is now three girls since. Everything was new, the world wasn’t sullied yet, and those jobs that we now realize require a PhD, 10 years of experience and a tour with Peace Corp making 75k out of college seemed plausible.
In postgrad life, time is a valuable commodity. Going to the gym, grocery shopping, laundry, paying bills, taking care of the apartment/house/townhouse/compound all takes time. It’s also easy to lose track of time. I lost track of how many times I’d look up at the clock and then realize its 10:00 p.m. I can’t imagine what people with children or those on the prowl for a girlfriend or boyfriend do because I’m already stretched thin with my time. Being a young professional these days is all about time management but it is something that has to be constantly kept in line or else all the wheels fall off.
It’s also not getting any easier. Next time you go out, look around the room. Everyone is on their damn phones, updating all their outlets and maintaining this façade of a self. Does it really count as going to the gym if you didn’t check in? These days, when I do happen to see people, they inform me “I saw on your Facebook you went to homecoming last weekend, great pictures.” We’ve come to the point where we talk about pictures more than anything of substance and I hate it.
Remember the opening scenes of Crash? I love quotes, and this one has always stuck with me, “I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something.”
I miss seeing my friends on a regular basis. I know the lack of communication is a casualty to time, to obligations, to the bullshit that is adulthood. I’m always of the mindset if you’re thinking about someone, give them a call. Invite them over for a party or to just catch up. It’s important to always remember the people that have shaped you, have been there for the good and if you lose track of them, it’s losing track of memories, experiences and life in general. Sure people these days hate to actually use the phone but you know what, it is 100% of the time worth it. I guess this is growing up. .
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Madoff
I specialize in damage control, being the drunkest at any and all functions and social assassination. Always appreciate a strong gif game. Follow me on Twitter. Sometimes I put up cool stuff about golfing at the local dirt tracks.
@BLMInvestment
As someone who has moved around a lot before college and after, I cannot agree with you more. While we usually have our families there for us, it really is your friends that are going to get you through the really shitty times and are going to be the people who want to celebrate with you during the good.
All my best friends are behind bars, but most of them are top shelf.
Great read. I talked to an intern the other day that was shocked that my most common way to keep up with an friends is to grab dinner or drinks once a week. Asked me why we don’t just catch up via Facebook or Instagram.
calling bullshit
You obviously don’t get to interact with the kids born in the early/mid 90s. They have zero face-to-face social skills. But they sure can Facebook the shit out of life
You realize people born in 1990 are 25 now, right? That’s square in the middle of PGP’s core demographic.
Ugh, don’t remind me.
-Person who turned 25 this month.
Same.
He’s right, it’s true. FOMO has taken over their lives, none of them can commit to anything not even a simple coffee or dinner date. And while they are afraid of missing out on something better they end up missing out on doing anything at all. It’s tragic.
That’s an awfully specific generalization for a big and diverse generation.
If we’re trading meaningless anecdotes as facts let me hop in here. I was born in 1992 and I have literally never met anyone who preferred not meeting their friends in person if it was possible.
I’ll be out to visit, bro.
Door is always open. The 13th looks pretty good……
This hit too close to home. Now I need another Prozac…
Or a xanax
This was too real. I love my good friends dearly, but we are spread out and none of them live within an hour of me. As a result, it’s just so hard to stay in touch with each other. When you find someone worth keeping around, you have to do something about it. Life pulls us in too many directions for everything to fall into place naturally.
You get me, Madoff. Every post is spot on, could have been as if I wrote it.
This was such a good read. I’m lucky I live with my 2 best friends still but as jobs get more pressing and girls start expecting you to man up, it’s nearly impossible to make everyone happy. Just remember you can always be that guy who “lives in a van down by the river” as an ace in the hole in case all else fails.
Your parents don’t qualify as your two best friends.
I have the best car bed with a 2 way radio that my work can contact me on at all hours of the day though!
Preach. Grew up in New Jersey, went to college in Florida, and moved to North Carolina for a job. I’m still close with some friends from high school, and of course I’ll always be close with my fraternity brothers, but it’s definitely difficult sometimes. I might visit Florida or Jersey once a year each. I have friends here but it’s not the same.
Where in NJ, I know someone that kinda used to live there….Awful place though
Born & raised right outside of Princeton. I love New Jersey, but it definitely has its rough areas. I used to go to Devil’s games in Newark all the time. Rough town.
Jared?
Scarlett, my name is not Jared. But if you’re saying you know someone who grew up in Princeton NJ, was a fraternity member at USF, and then moved to Charlotte NC for work, I’m going to need his number because he is probably my long lost twin or something.
Isn’t it a bit forward to not only ask for a ring but also tell someone where to go buy it?
What college in FL? #ChargeOn
USF. This has been a pretty embarrassing season for you guys. Looking forward to crushing you guys in a month. Go Bulls.
Go bulls. Thought I was one of the few USF Alumni on here.
Well we have an undergrad population of like 30k, some of them are bound to graduate and discover PGP eventually haha
We’re all allowed a rebuilding season. I think that Fiesta Bowl win and back to back conference titles speak for themselves.
0-8 isn’t a rebuilding season, buddy, it’s a demolition season.
Good article. Really cut me deep.
Safe to say we took living within a mile of all our best friends in college for granted. If only I knew then what I know now.