47 Thoughts Girls Have While Watching Other Girls Do The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

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If you’ve been on the internet in the past five minutes, you’ve probably scrolled past a handful of your acquaintances dumping homemade buckets of ice water on their heads to raise awareness for ALS research. If they’re doing it right, they’ll tell you in the beginning of the video – hopefully after a witty and creative intro.

The sun shines, the grass is green and girls are judgmental as fuck. It’s like a resume worthy skill that we were born with. So, we don’t watch your video because we support your thoughtful actions towards ALS, which you probably don’t even know the acronym for. No, we watch your video because A. it plays automatically on Facebook, and B. so we can judge you. We like to compare regional accents (“You’re from New York? Say ‘coffee!'”) and to see who’s prettier on camera. Me or you.

  1. Why is she in a string bikini?
  2. She just wants to show off her abs.
  3. If I had abs like that I’d show them off too. Can’t blame her.
  4. Who’s filming? That’s definitely a guy’s voice.
  5. She never told me she has a new boyfriend.
  6. Oh it’s just her dad.
  7. Wait, her dad is filming her in a bikini? That’s disgusting.
  8. Shit I just missed everything she said rewind. Not like I care.
  9. WHO nominated her?!
  10. Oh, Lindsay Leen. I thought she said Lindsay Lohan.
  11. It would be funny if she fell in the pool.
  12. I hope she falls in.
  13. Is that mean?
  14. I’m a nice person, I swear!
  15. The nominees are…
  16. I wonder if I’ll get nominated.
  17. Who would I nominate?
  18. I haven’t been nominated yet. Does that mean I’m not popular?
  19. Do I have friends? Who are my real friends?
  20. My real friends would nominate me.
  21. I haven’t been nominated because my friends haven’t been nominated yet right?
  22. RIGHT?
  23. Am I even pretty?
  24. Would I nominate my boyfriend?
  25. Would I wear a bathing suit? Who would film me?
  26. What if my landlady filmed me? That would be great.
  27. What if I just dumped the bucket on my landlady’s dog?
  28. Oh, I missed that part.
  29. Wait, who did she say?
  30. I’ve never heard those names.
  31. Maybe college friends?
  32. Ohhhhh, work friends. Okay.
  33. I wonder if that ice hurts.
  34. Should I like this?
  35. Do guys get turned on by this?
  36. Is this sexy?
  37. Was that sexy?
  38. Did she do that all in one take?
  39. Look at her sock tan LOL.
  40. Should I message her? It’s really been a while.
  41. Awww, her dog is sooo cute.
  42. Look at him lick the water.
  43. Shit, she forgot to say that her nominees have 24 hours.
  44. Oh, good. The guy filming said it.
  45. Should I donate?
  46. Nah, I’m too poor.
  47. Maybe just a dollar.

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"That's what," she said.

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