30 Things That Go Through Your Mind When You’re Trying To Go To Sleep


Getting a good eight hours is tough these days. In bed by 10, looking at your phone until midnight and then just staring into darkness. It’s the result of a restless mind worrying about the troubles of life. The brain races irrationally, and at a certain point, you resign yourself to four hours…hopefully.

  1. Oh, man. My bed is so comfortable.
  2. Should sleep really well tonight.
  3. I think I’ll wake up early and make a good breakfast.
  4. Nah. I’ll just grab a Clif bar on the way to work.
  5. Did I DVR Letterman?
  6. Better check. Yep. Good.
  7. One last check of Twitter.
  8. I wish Rob Delaney would lay off the political stuff.
  9. Might as well check Facebook. Instagram too.
  10. I think I have restless legs syndrome.
  11. Oh, man. My bed is not comfortable anymore.
  12. I have to pee, but I don’t want to get out of bed.
  13. Okay. If I fall asleep now, I can still get seven hours.
  14. Shouldn’t have sent that email so late to my boss. They probably think I’m weird.
  15. Gotta get the rent check in the mail tomorrow.
  16. My alarm is set, right? Yeah, but I’ll add another one two minutes after the last one.
  17. Shouldn’t have drank that pre-workout so late.
  18. Is it too late for a Tylenol PM?
  19. Alright, I’ll just get six hours.
  20. (opens incognito window)
  21. I wonder what my sleep number is.
  22. Anybody on Gchat?
  23. I’m hungry.
  24. I have nothing to eat.
  25. Too late to start drinking. Maybe just one beer.
  26. Can still get six hours.
  27. Five hours?
  28. I should write a book.
  29. My back hurts.
  30. Four hours is a good even number. I’ve worked with less.

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Brian McGannon

What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.

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