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Traveling alone sucks. Here are some ways to spice things up.
- Before boarding, ask the gate agent who you need to speak to about bottle service.
- When the stewardess comes around with drink service, hand her your credit card and ask to start a tab.
- Pass out condoms to potential hookups.
- Place a sign on one of the bathrooms labeling it “Reserved for mile high club members only.”
- If people get enraged over aforementioned sign, offer to induct them into the club personally.
- Monopolize the flight crew’s microphone for karaoke.
- Sing R. Kelly’s “I Believe I Can Fly.”
- Bring a deck of cards, then ask your row mates if they want to “Ride the Bus.”
- Explain to the guy next to you why every single product in the SkyMall magazine is a must buy.
- Practice your golf swing in the aisle.
- Ask people what kind of snake they would most prefer to be on the plane.
- Turn a profit secretly selling Xanax to stressed-out-looking travelers.
- Use every interaction with the stewardess as an impromptu speed date.
- Challenge a person sitting in the exit row to a game of Ro-sham-bo, winner gets the seat.
- Hand out your résumé to each person sitting in first class. Networking, am I right?
- Send a shot to the babe in 16B.
- When the fasten seat belt light comes on, immediately begin to fasten anyone’s unbuckled seat belt for them.
- Make a blanket fort with the in-flight linens.
- Do squats in the aisle.
- Try to start the wave.
Disclaimer: Engaging in some of these acts may result in placement on the No-Fly-List.