You’d Have To Be Insane To Download This Dating App That Makes You Call Your Matches

You'd Have To Be Insane To Download This Dating App That Makes You Call Your Matches

In the last two weeks, I’ve brought you a dating app that matches you based on the things you hate and a dating app that only has one male that you can possibly match with. I can’t even get started on the sheer amount of bizarre dating apps that currently exist because it’s simply too much to even try to dive into. It’s a scary world, and I, personally, am glad that I’m out of the game.

But after coming across this particular app, my anxiety spiked and I all of the sudden felt my skin crawl. My elevated heart rate was something akin to that feeling I get every Sunday when I debate looking at my bank account or when you get a random phone call from a number you don’t recognize. Which is exactly what this app aims to provide for you.

It’s called ‘Hotline’ and it sounds like absolute hell, per Engadget.

The mobile app requires that you have a 5-minute voice call with your prospective partner (thankfully, without using your phone number) before you can message them. It’s a scary concept if you’re shy or hate calls, but the hope is that you’ll quickly find out whether or not the real person is as interesting as their profile.

Nah. Nope. Uh-uh. If you think I’m calling someone before I can ever message them, think again. While I’m a big proponent of setting up a first date via phone call to set the tone that you’re not afraid of verbal communication early in the game, calling them before you can get a feeling for their text game is just downright bananas. Getting a text rapport with the person on the other end of your right swipe is an essential part of the process. You need at least three to four days of half-hearted texts back and forth while wondering “Am I responding too quickly?” before you can actually date a person. Everyone knows that.

Add in the fact that this app is $9 per month and you’ve got yourself a Mark Cuban-esque Shark Tank-style, “This is a pass for me.” As someone who still values the benefits of being on my parents’ phone plan, I’d rather spend that $9 on a happy hour glass of prosecco with a girl I courted via text rather than on an app that’s going to lead to numerous awkward conversations and hang-ups.

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at

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