Being not only awake, but at work before Morning Coffee Thoughts is posted. PGP.

A few of my fraternity brothers came to stay with me for a drunk weekend. They brought Coke Zero as a mixer. PGP.

Realized at a high school grad party that I’m the drunk cousin. PGP.

Went down a floor in my office building to throw up this morning so my co-workers don’t think I’m a degenerate. PGP.

Having a surplus of PTO and a shortage of funds to do anything with it. PGP.

Turned down sex last weekend due to being too tired for the first time. I’m single. PGP.