Sent Jurgen Klinsmann’s Permission Slip to my manager as a joke 4 hours ago. He has not responded or acknowledged the e-mail. I think I might get fired. PGP.

The switch from Market Pantry to Archer Farms on pay day. PGP.

Hearing friends’ salaries and knowing I picked the wrong major. PGP.

Deleted my birth year on Facebook. PGP.

Ironically, my office communicator has said “Busy” all day. PGP.

Contemplating getting into a car crash on purpose so you have a valid excuse to miss work. PGP.

Being a democrat in college and a republican after your first paycheck. PGP.

Don’t trust anyone who can take a work dump in less than 8 minutes. PGP.

My friend got engaged last night. I went home and sent weird messages on Tinder. PGP.

1: “Jeff’s wife just died” 2: “Who’s Jeff?” PGP.