Inside sales at a small company you've never heard of. When I'm not on PGP, you can usually find me having a panic attack during a cold call or spilling coffee on my Tommy Bahama linen shirt. Sometimes I'm funny, but most of the time I'm just a dick.
If you’re a cashier like that guy, you take the lump sum so that you can tell your manager to go fuck themselves while you spike the scan gun into the goddamn ground and walk out.
I remember when I was a kid, you couldn’t put cardboard boxes in the recycling bin. You had to break them down and tie them all together like a fucking Christmas present. Now thanks to single stream recycling, I can throw everything into the same can. If my town didn’t have single stream I would definitely say fuck recycling.
Some of the townhouses in my area are really nice. And being a homeowner is a good investment. If you want to upgrade to a house in the country in a couple years, you can use the equity from your home as a down payment. In a year I plan on being able to afford a lake condo with a boat slip included.
“I think sex is icky and say words like ‘shucks’ or ‘gee willikers’ instead of real curse words because I’m still a child.”
I might be alone here but I hate Zooey Deschanel. I don’t find that faux awkward and quirky shtick cute or endearing at all.
Calling dibs before even seeing her face. PGPM.
I would have had no problem never getting to work late or leaving early if it meant getting in on Microsoft at the ground floor.
You could manage a strip club, but I doubt they’d pay you $214k
Only 8s and up are allowed to open with “hey” on Bumble. That’s just science.
If you’re a cashier like that guy, you take the lump sum so that you can tell your manager to go fuck themselves while you spike the scan gun into the goddamn ground and walk out.
Asian Persuasion. So that’s how Shibby rolls.
Putting out the chill vibe by casually dominating at Golden Tee. PGPM.
Yeah, nobody cares.
I remember when I was a kid, you couldn’t put cardboard boxes in the recycling bin. You had to break them down and tie them all together like a fucking Christmas present. Now thanks to single stream recycling, I can throw everything into the same can. If my town didn’t have single stream I would definitely say fuck recycling.
Some of the townhouses in my area are really nice. And being a homeowner is a good investment. If you want to upgrade to a house in the country in a couple years, you can use the equity from your home as a down payment. In a year I plan on being able to afford a lake condo with a boat slip included.
Brian loved boats.
If I ever date a woman who talks like this, it’s either because she’s way out of my league looks-wise or she’s blackmailing me.
Pssshhhhh my second wife hasn’t even been born yet.
Sounds like a great band name
What could Mr. Bean have possibly done to earn your respect?
I hate everything you stand for, Dorn.
I felt like an idiot trying to read that book. I gave up about 10 pages in.
Would eat their fish tacos.