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Remember back in November when we brought you The Bedford Stop, also known as the Brooklyn web series about a bunch of girls sitting on their phones and discussing dating apps? They’ve since taken down the “pilot” episode, probably because the collective internet took the series and obliterated it with all their might.
Don’t remember? Let me refresh your memory. One of the girls went on a Tinder date just for the free food and drink. Another girl went to a photographer that specializes solely in taking headshots for Tinder. And then the episode ended at a bar where there was a montage of the girls taking drunk selfies with one another.
Well, great (read: horrible) news. They’re back, and they went to Florida over the holidays.
Even though this was just a “teaser” for (hopefully) a future full-length episode, it was still fully loaded with quotes that make you want to move to Canada and become an alcoholic ski bum who only talks to four people: your wife, two kids, and the checkout woman at the local mom and pop convenience store. For example:
Your boob’s out. Actually, your nipples out.
This was not only the first thing uttered in the episode, but it occurred in the middle of a public beach in the middle of Hollywood Beach, Florida. Response?
It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m on vacation.
Because being on vacation vetos any public indecencies you bring to the table.
Then, the girl that pointed out that the other girl’s boob was flopping out of her bandeau top swimsuit clarified that she was, “Going for the 1920s look” on the beach that day, which was actually a respectable look for her. But Boob-Out Girl’s response?
Oh, I’m just, like, the 1920s stripper.
Class, class, class, those Bedford Stop girls. She went on to say:
I want to be tan as AF when we go back for New Year’s.
While I can’t knock her for saying that (because I legitimately said the exact same thing when I was in Mexico for Christmas), I will fault her for putting “as” in front of “AF” because it’s clear she’s either 1. Hammered on Margaritaville Margaritas or 2. Dumb as rocks.
When the responsible party said, “Olena, I don’t think you should have your phone out here,” as they entered the water, Olena gave the most Bedford Stop response ever.
How else am I going to take a selfie?
Naturally, they then went into full-photoshoot mode on the beach before returning to spout off more treasures.
I’m so fucking pissed that, like, this fucking UV index of 1 is happening right now.
And you know, I would’ve been pissed about that too had I spent the money to go to Florida over the holidays. I’d be looking for sun too. But then I realized that this trivial problem was nothing compared to the problem she was about to face, as Olena (again, Boobs Out Girl) went on regarding her dietary problems.
I haven’t eaten in like 24 hours, I think I’m gonna collapse.
Here are the issues I take with this — first, she said this with a smile on her face which shows she doesn’t truly feel all that bad about not eating for an entire day. Secondly, she said this while holding her second Margaritaville Margarita for the day, because a 120-pound girl drinking crazy strong Margaritas on an empty stomach always works out. And finally, as they walk to go get something to eat, she weirdly holds her drink up and says, “Cheers MK and Ashley Olsen,” which is just beyond bizarre as neither of the Olsen twins are even there. But then, when they finally are on a strip where they can get some food and the responsible one asks where Olena would like to eat, her response was perfect.
I honestly don’t care where we go as long as I can get a margarita.
This girl is the gift that keeps on giving. Especially when they finally sit down and begin discussing how none of the waitresses want their table and Olena says:
I’m gonna get blackout in like 5 seconds and cause a scene.
But after a lunch where they discussed throwing Olena a “chic” surprise party for her birthday and sat on their phones, they finally made their way back to the beach where they discussed their January plans which were the most Things Girls Do After Graduation plans ever.
I don’t know. I feel, like, I need to start a book club. Or, I need to start doing things that… I don’t know. I need a hobby. I need to start really broadening my horizons. So I think I’m either going to join a book club or have arts and crafts night once a week. Like, paint a mason jar and build your own terranium.
Thankfully, Olena called her bluff and responded, “You sound like a knockoff of Urban Outfitters.” Weirdly, that was the most insightful thing Olena said through the entire teaser. But thankfully, it was also the last thing she said because the episode abruptly ended after that meaningful conversation came to an end.
Can’t wait for the full episode. .
Image via YouTube