I had a driver pull a gun on me. He kept talking about how much better of a fighter Holly Holmes was compared to Ronda Rousey and I told him he was an idiot. (This was like a year before they actually fought) Pretty sure he went to jail because once I was done running I definitely filed a police report on that fuck face….. People in Albuquerque take UFC very seriously.
I almost wasn’t allowed on my flight leaving sin-city because I passed out in the terminal after a bachelor party weekend. I woke up to two paramedics poking me, behind yellow tape. Apparently they responded to 3 phone calls about “a dead guy being in C terminal.” I was strapped to a gurney and rolled to my gate still in my suit from the night before.
Pretty sure chicken can also come in a can. Source: piece of shit college roommate who only ate things in cans and hot pockets. God only knows how he weighed 140 but inside was a chunkster.
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Are you my brother? The same exact same happened to him….
I saw Springsteen a few months ago and he is the sole reason I will never go to another stadium show.
This is why I go to a festival every few years and call it good. They just don’t do it for me.
I had a driver pull a gun on me. He kept talking about how much better of a fighter Holly Holmes was compared to Ronda Rousey and I told him he was an idiot. (This was like a year before they actually fought) Pretty sure he went to jail because once I was done running I definitely filed a police report on that fuck face….. People in Albuquerque take UFC very seriously.
Everyone knows tequila and kahlua is called a Black Mexican. You should have slugged her then and there.
I see why this took you a while to post today. When you have to stand up and punch a hole in the wall every few sentences you can lose track of time.
2:1 odds the first husband burned the house down because he had to live with this thing
He does
I almost wasn’t allowed on my flight leaving sin-city because I passed out in the terminal after a bachelor party weekend. I woke up to two paramedics poking me, behind yellow tape. Apparently they responded to 3 phone calls about “a dead guy being in C terminal.” I was strapped to a gurney and rolled to my gate still in my suit from the night before.
I don’t know how this hasn’t reached 10,000 “nice works” yet
Hey the girl from TGDAG has a name, it’s Lucy-fer.
You told him to talk to Janet from accounting? Dude, Janet from account don’t give a fuuuuuck
What I do on vacation is my business and only my business, KEN.
Your mom isn’t on here, you can say fuck. Also, sup?
I’ve already told all of my friends that if I get invited to their baby shower their gift will be a puppy.
Oh shit….. You brought the K word in to this. Duda is walking in some dangerous territory.
He ate it straight out of the can. He went full homeless, you never go full homeless.
It’s been like a year. You know he’s halfway around the world on his pontoon by now. Stay golden pony boy
I refer to myself as daddy sometimes. Mixed bag of results…. Shaquandra isn’t too into it but DeNiqua is real down
Pretty sure chicken can also come in a can. Source: piece of shit college roommate who only ate things in cans and hot pockets. God only knows how he weighed 140 but inside was a chunkster.