Tom is a grad of an SEC school and is an avid college football fan with very little else to look forward to the other 8 months out of the year. Scotch is his drink of choice, and he is fully aware and unapologetic for constantly drinking too much of it. Likes a pleasant round of golf, and loves America.
Andrew Jackson would probably top my list. How many presidents killed a guy in a duel…after getting shot in the ribs by the other guy? Not to mention that in his younger years he didn’t get invited to a local ball so he hired hookers to crash it. Classic.
This is some solid input. My wife and I kept separate residences (in adjacent apartment complexes) prior to engagement and marriage. We did it to respect our families’ expectations mostly, but we also did it as a bit of a test run for marriage.
It was the smartest thing I did. There were a few nights we’d have a big fight, and I liked having a place to get when I didn’t want to be around her. That buffer probably saved our relationship to be honest because we’re both stubborn as fuck.
Taylor sounds like an asshole. That being said, I blame Logan more in this whole charade. He knew what he was getting when he started dating this shallow broad. You gotta show some sac, man. “Oh golly, how am I ever going to give her the proposal of her dreams?!” Fuck that. Send her packing, and go out there and get some low-maintenance strange, you lucky son of a bitch. You just dodged the biggest bullet of your life.
I got stressed out when they started rolling out the Stories feature, and I never even view them now because I don’t really care. WHAT THE FUCK IS ALL THIS SHIT?!
“But the survey also found that 77 percent of millennials want interaction in their fitness such as apps, games, music and more.”
I want literally none of those things. I started torturing myself with Insanity precisely so I could avoid such tomfoolery. Fuck the gym, I’d rather die young.
One of my friends recently got engaged, but went about ring shopping in the worst way possible…he just told his fiancee to go pick out what she wanted, and expected her to be reasonable. She picked out a $30K ring. His budget was like $8K. I give it a year, tops.
“Instead, she keeps in touch with friends by mailing them funny, artistic greeting cards with handwritten messages that are generally full of exclamation points.”
Even Emily Post would slap the shit out of this chick.
I’m glad I was sitting down to see this because it took my entire body to hate these people. And not just the couple, but also their dumb ass friends willing to be cohorts in this display of selfish fuckery.
“21.The modern man doesn’t scold his daughter when she sneezes while eating an apple doughnut, even if the pieces fly everywhere.”
That is creepily specific. And I don’t know about the “modern” man, but an actual man sure as fuck better scold her ass. You can’t cover your mouth and turn your head, Sally? The fuck is the matter with you?
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So this wristband has a “haptic feedback system” that vibrates if they mess up. How is that different from a dog’s shock collar? Dick move, Bezos.
Andrew Jackson would probably top my list. How many presidents killed a guy in a duel…after getting shot in the ribs by the other guy? Not to mention that in his younger years he didn’t get invited to a local ball so he hired hookers to crash it. Classic.
“Although poking fun at announcements and Vows is nothing new”
Why did they capitalize “vows”? I really thought they held themselves to a higher editorial standard than this.
This is some solid input. My wife and I kept separate residences (in adjacent apartment complexes) prior to engagement and marriage. We did it to respect our families’ expectations mostly, but we also did it as a bit of a test run for marriage.
It was the smartest thing I did. There were a few nights we’d have a big fight, and I liked having a place to get when I didn’t want to be around her. That buffer probably saved our relationship to be honest because we’re both stubborn as fuck.
I named my dog Shooter, after the legend himself, Shooter McGavin. Haven’t regretted it for a second.
Me: “Hey…you want the sex?”
Mrs. Smykowski: “Not right now.”
30 seconds later
Me: “Can I give you all the sex now? I’ll make it quick. Pleeeeeaaase!”
Mrs. Smykowski: “Ugh, fine.”
*skips to bedroom*
“A lot of sweating, grunting, pleading and eventual crying.”
Ex-Lax does wonders, my man.
Taylor sounds like an asshole. That being said, I blame Logan more in this whole charade. He knew what he was getting when he started dating this shallow broad. You gotta show some sac, man. “Oh golly, how am I ever going to give her the proposal of her dreams?!” Fuck that. Send her packing, and go out there and get some low-maintenance strange, you lucky son of a bitch. You just dodged the biggest bullet of your life.
John seems like a piece of shit and deserves to live in group text purgatory with his terrible wife nagging him for all eternity.
I got stressed out when they started rolling out the Stories feature, and I never even view them now because I don’t really care. WHAT THE FUCK IS ALL THIS SHIT?!
“But the survey also found that 77 percent of millennials want interaction in their fitness such as apps, games, music and more.”
I want literally none of those things. I started torturing myself with Insanity precisely so I could avoid such tomfoolery. Fuck the gym, I’d rather die young.
I would never hit a woman, but I’d be lying if I told you this girl didn’t need a stiff falcon punch to her delicates.
One of my friends recently got engaged, but went about ring shopping in the worst way possible…he just told his fiancee to go pick out what she wanted, and expected her to be reasonable. She picked out a $30K ring. His budget was like $8K. I give it a year, tops.
“Instead, she keeps in touch with friends by mailing them funny, artistic greeting cards with handwritten messages that are generally full of exclamation points.”
Even Emily Post would slap the shit out of this chick.
I’m glad I was sitting down to see this because it took my entire body to hate these people. And not just the couple, but also their dumb ass friends willing to be cohorts in this display of selfish fuckery.
Busey, the Nuge, Rodman, and Tyson all support Trump. I’d say that’s about right. Awaiting Canseco’s endorsement any day now.
“Also, Michael Bay? That’s just explosive.”
ISWYDT. Also…
http://img.pandawhale.com/109016-super-troopers-excuse-me-bear-xvKw.gif
Oh good, just when I thought I had run out of reasons to hate this generation.
Vikings:
“If AP lays off the switch, they’re playoff bound next year. Teddy’s gloves still bother the fuck out of me though.”
Teddy looks like Mario out there, but with less talent.
“21.The modern man doesn’t scold his daughter when she sneezes while eating an apple doughnut, even if the pieces fly everywhere.”
That is creepily specific. And I don’t know about the “modern” man, but an actual man sure as fuck better scold her ass. You can’t cover your mouth and turn your head, Sally? The fuck is the matter with you?