Tom is a grad of an SEC school and is an avid college football fan with very little else to look forward to the other 8 months out of the year. Scotch is his drink of choice, and he is fully aware and unapologetic for constantly drinking too much of it. Likes a pleasant round of golf, and loves America.
The only thing worse than your garden-variety topping of the ball is doing so right in front of the dickheads who finally let you play through after 7 holes with their heads up their asses.
“More than a dozen different police departments in a southeastern Pennsylvania county responded to a wedding brawl that grew violently out of control Monday night, according to reports.”
The only thing worse than this stuff is the stuck up assholes who choose to have a dry wedding. Why the FUCK would you spite your guests like that? If you don’t drink, fine, but don’t force your guests to have to suffer from your poor life decisions.
Maybe I’m old fashioned, but never once in my life have I ever considered actually shaving my sac-hair. A razor on that loose of skin just seems like a recipe for disaster.
Lost in painful demonstration of ass-hattery is the fact that a) this dipshit proposed on Christmas, b) he did so in the douchiest way possible, and c) these fuckers will procreate.
I publicly assault Comcast via Twitter and on the phone every single time our office internet goes down (which is about twice a month). We got rid of Comcast at our house for FiOS and our internet/cable have yet to go out. Fuck Comcast.
Also, this dickbag could use a nice ass kicking in the worst kind of way.
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“My mind was telling me to ‘go go go,’ but my body was telling me to sit the next few quarters out.”
My mind is usually telling me no. But my BODY…is telling me yes. Just kidding – sexhaustion is all too real and demoralizing.
This situation is Seinfeld-esque: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nIiJLoDh7Y
The only thing worse than your garden-variety topping of the ball is doing so right in front of the dickheads who finally let you play through after 7 holes with their heads up their asses.
Dear lord…Galette and Jameis Winston on the same team. I hope every single woman in Tampa owns a gun and/or mace.
“In the second paragraph, motivate yourself to have an amazing weekend and to live it like it’s the last weekend of your life.”
I hate her.
This carries a similar tone as a pitch to join the crossfit cult.
“But, have you ever tried to go down on someone in the shower? It’s like being water-boarded with genital flavored water.”
Eloquent hyperbole at its finest.
You have to establish a zero-tolerance policy for bangs right from the start. If she violates that policy, that’s on her.
“More than a dozen different police departments in a southeastern Pennsylvania county responded to a wedding brawl that grew violently out of control Monday night, according to reports.”
Who the fuck gets married on a Monday night?
Counterpoint to your question on #2, why the FUCK do women always have to know what’s on our minds?
“I’m stealing his last name!” written on the chalkboard. There’s a special place in hell for girls that do corny shit like that.
I just had my first experience with a SWOT analysis. I have never felt the urge to murder more than I did in that moment.
The only thing worse than this stuff is the stuck up assholes who choose to have a dry wedding. Why the FUCK would you spite your guests like that? If you don’t drink, fine, but don’t force your guests to have to suffer from your poor life decisions.
OBC is the man, but Les Miles take the cake on coaches tweeting nonsense.
“@LSUCoachMiles: Went to movie nite… boys pick … A very quality Robo Cop! Some how maneuvered .. ENDLESS LOVE…. Not the same!! Victory Girls Club! LM”
Maybe I’m old fashioned, but never once in my life have I ever considered actually shaving my sac-hair. A razor on that loose of skin just seems like a recipe for disaster.
That truly sounded worse than the ugly-crying girl who got proposed to by an unoriginal douche on Christmas.
Lost in painful demonstration of ass-hattery is the fact that a) this dipshit proposed on Christmas, b) he did so in the douchiest way possible, and c) these fuckers will procreate.
This is painful to watch. Literally every single one of those things happened on a call I had today.
Condoms. Lol.
I publicly assault Comcast via Twitter and on the phone every single time our office internet goes down (which is about twice a month). We got rid of Comcast at our house for FiOS and our internet/cable have yet to go out. Fuck Comcast.
Also, this dickbag could use a nice ass kicking in the worst kind of way.