Guy in the stall next to me is wearing socks with sandals. PGP

I feel like a western gunslinger whenever I alt-tab as my boss walks by. PGP

With one final “Save the Date,” my vacation days are spent for the next sixth months. PGP

For a brief, wonderful moment, I completely forgot what day it was. PGP

The only emails I get CC’d on are cat videos from my co-workers. PGP

Are Tuesday Scaries a thing? Because if so, I believe I have them. PGP

Called my boss the wrong name this morning. Fortunately, he doesn’t know mine. PGP

Construction on our office building took out the elevator. I work on the eleventh floor. PGP

Spent my last fifteen minutes at work in the bathroom playing Tinder. PGP

Older coworker just asked if I knew were he could score weed. PGP