Senior Associate brings her two kids to the office cause her nanny backed out. Meanwhile, I get sent to HR because I forgot to shave this morning. PGP.

Boss found out I smoke. Now, he bums cigs off me on his breaks. PGP.

I feel personally victimized by the guy who pissed all over the handicapped toilet and didn’t even flush. PGP.

Watching Spongebob with my nephew and exclusively identifying with Squidward. PGP.

The best part of waking up…is going back to sleep for 45 minutes on the train. PGP.

When the phrase “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” becomes your personal motto. PGP.

Using Facebook birthdays to cull your friends list. PGP.