I’m starting to enjoy work more than I enjoy being around my friends. PGP

Saw a waitress storm out and quit today…I haven’t been this inspired in a while

I want to go to lunch and never come back. PGP.

Was too embarrassed to tell my doctor that I haven’t slept with anyone since my last visit.

Mentally checking out around 11am on Friday. PGP.

Automatically downloading the apple watch app but not being anywhere close to being able to afford the actual watch #PGP

Starting to recognize the same cars every morning on your commute. PGP.

Having the attitude, but not the energy to be the office prankster. PGP.

Mark Cuban is my spirit animal. PGP.

Asking Santa for a better job. PGP.