I thought I sent that to you. PGP.

Called my boss the wrong name this morning. Fortunately, he doesn’t know mine. PGP

Construction on our office building took out the elevator. I work on the eleventh floor. PGP

“Dear God, please make me a bird so I can fly far. Far far away from here.”

The water faucet sensor in the bathroom doesn’t acknowledge my existence. PGP.

When the f*ck did I run out of notches on this belt.

Receiving a company card, then being too afraid of being accountable for all purchases made to ever actually use it. PGP

I hate this place. PGP

Always telling my co-workers my weekend was “low key” PGP.

Hungover from a Sunday evening baby shower.