My manager always manages to walk by my cubicle whenever I’m texting. PGP.

I keep so much medicine at my desk for different ailments that coworkers call me “The Pharmacist.” PGP.

“She has a kid now? I remember when we partied with her in college.” PGP.

Checking the qualifications, not the job description. PGP.

Alcohol tolerance is down, caffeine tolerance is up. PGP.

Spending an extra 5-10 minutes in the stall after you’re done pooping just because you enjoy the silence. PGP.

Actual note on the break room fridge: “Do not haze the interns, this isn’t college and they aren’t pledges.” PGP.