Trying to figure out a Halloween costume is giving me anxiety. PGP.

My office is colder than how I feel inside. PGP.

Getting asked by every fucking friend and family member if you know Jake upon accepting a job with State Farm. PGP.

Went through 30 pages of PGPs. Still not time to go home. PGP.

It’s “bring your space heater to work” season. PGP.

What do I have to do to get fired? I’m out here tryna get a severance. PGP.

Pretty sure I hurt myself bowling this weekend. PGP.

Showing my boss – who makes a quarter of a million dollars a year – how to make “cool bullet sounds” for his PowerPoint presentation. PGP.

There was a fight today in the office. I was at lunch. PGP.