I’ve been here for almost two years and I still can’t really explain what it is that I do.

I want to quit my job, but I don’t want to deal with the hassle of finding a new one. PGP.

Sincerely being too old for this shit. PGP.

I didn’t wake up in a new Bugatti today. PGP

“Do we get paid today?” PGP.

I’m more concerned about my Uber Customer Rating than I ever was about my GPA. PGP

When leaving 5 min later than normal costs you 45 minutes on your commute…PGP.

“Hi! I’m just calling to follow up” PGP

My office is 20 degrees colder than outside, where it’s 76. PGP.