One hand on the mouse, two feet in the grave. PGP.

I keep so much medicine at my desk for different ailments that coworkers call me “The Pharmacist.” PGP.

That feeling of panic that hits when someone says your name on a conference call. PGP.

Putting things on your desk/walls so your boss won’t realize you’re planning to leave as soon as humanly possible. PGP.

My boss handed me his iPad with a sticky note on it that read: “Broken.” Turns out he didn’t charge it. PGP.

My job is basically to get yelled at all day for things that were in no way my fault. PGP.

“Are you busy?” is an absurd trap of a trick question. PGP.

Big middle finger to whoever just heated up fish in the kitchen microwave. PGP.