Every time you’re looking to get another drink, look around. Do you see someone you suspect is drunker than you? Get another drink. If nobody is drunker than you, grab a water and go dance for a bit. Try to focus on having a good time and if a lady wants to dance, you dance. Make sure she’s not your cousin before you start making out on the dance floor, though. Take that shit to the broom closet, you monster.
Or maybe just educate high school students that joint vocational programs aren’t just for burnouts and poor kids, and that skilled trades have some worth in society and aren’t considered a copout in lieu of a “real education”.
I feel you so hard. Except replace Avett Brothers with the Decemberists. Add that I brew my own beer and have strong stances on video game console wars.
Make sure you’re the first one in one day and sneak a bottle of air freshener in there. Nobody will know it was you, everyone will appreciate it, and you can worry less about the smell.
I made a rule that unless I specifically request my wife’s help, she stays the hell out of the kitchen when I’m cooking. It’s probably saved our marriage and at least three fingers.
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I’m no geneticist, but for a dude with who looks like that, those are some blonde-ass kids.
Smoking weed in the shower might be a little tough, though. Someone try it and report back.
My favorite is the team-up of a shower beer and peeing in the shower. Fill up the tank and empty it out all at the same time.
I don’t think “don’t be the drunkest guy in the room” is awful advice. Or was it the “don’t fuck your cousin” part that rubbed you the wrong way?
Every time you’re looking to get another drink, look around. Do you see someone you suspect is drunker than you? Get another drink. If nobody is drunker than you, grab a water and go dance for a bit. Try to focus on having a good time and if a lady wants to dance, you dance. Make sure she’s not your cousin before you start making out on the dance floor, though. Take that shit to the broom closet, you monster.
Why is that supposed to be a bad thing? Chicken nuggets are awesome, at least in a boneless wing you’re (hopefully) getting identifiably decent meat.
I’ve been known to use a fork and knife on pizza, but it seems like overkill on a burger…
You irl:
Or maybe just educate high school students that joint vocational programs aren’t just for burnouts and poor kids, and that skilled trades have some worth in society and aren’t considered a copout in lieu of a “real education”.
If “Superman” wasn’t #1, I’d be demanding your head on a stake. Every game in that series had a pretty awesome soundtrack, though.
Dude, we’re all pretty surprised you don’t already eat out of dumpsters and live under bridges.
I feel you so hard. Except replace Avett Brothers with the Decemberists. Add that I brew my own beer and have strong stances on video game console wars.
This is fucking brilliant, especially since there is apparently a wrong way to vacuum and dust.
You know, you say that, but… would, would, and fuck it probably would.
Make sure you’re the first one in one day and sneak a bottle of air freshener in there. Nobody will know it was you, everyone will appreciate it, and you can worry less about the smell.
I made a rule that unless I specifically request my wife’s help, she stays the hell out of the kitchen when I’m cooking. It’s probably saved our marriage and at least three fingers.
I don’t know about you guys, but the last thing I want when chopping vegetables is someone in my space.
I am, but that doesn’t mean my work environment wouldn’t be more pleasant if I was hanging out with 8s instead of 3s.
Seriously. Nothing I’ve submitted is nearly as good as Nived’s comments but I’m a little hurt that this made it through.