Jennifer Lawrence Probably Doesn’t Want To Be Friends With You

Jennifer Lawrence Probably Doesn't Want To Be Friends With You

She’s so hilarious and down-to-earth, isn’t she? Like, you know her interviews where she talks about how she doesn’t diet and drinks all the wine? She’s so relatable. Or remember that one award show when she fell on the red carpet? Oh, wait, that’s every award show she’s ever been to. Ha, she’s just totally a girl’s girl who hasn’t let the fame go to her head. Honestly, if she met you, you two would totally hit it off and be best friends, right?



That would never happen because there’s no possible way that Jennifer Lawrence would want to be friends with you.

On the surface, sure, you two might get along because, you know, Netflix, wine, and pizza. You probably have the same sense of humor. You relate so much to every character she plays. It just. makes. sense.

But everyone likes Netflix, wine, and pizza. You have the same sense of humor because you’ve watched all of her late night interviews on YouTube and attempt to emulate her when you’re out with your bootleg version of a #girlsquad. You relate to every character she plays because you’re a fan.

It’s nothing against you. I’m sure you’re hilarious. I’m sure you’re the “chill” girl in your group of friends. If you were an A-List celebrity, you’d totally be just like her. And you’re probably right.

No, wait, you’re wrong. In your mind, it adds up. You’d be best friends. But Jennifer Lawrence’s vibe isn’t the all-inclusive “cool girl” vibe that you’d identify with. She’s rich, she’s famous, she’s bitchy. Her “silly” attitude and off-hand remarks feel relatable to you, but has it ever occurred to you that she would act exactly like that towards you if you two somehow met in whatever universe you’ve crafted in your head where you’d be besties?

She’s rich, she’s famous, she rolls in quite possibly the most exclusive crowd you could possibly roll with if you’re an American celebrity. Any guy in his right mind would probably love to go to Cannes with Leo, golf with Jordan Spieth, and spend time with Matthew McConaughey on his ranch. But if we actually put ourselves in that situation, we’d be sitting there with our dick in our hands seeking approval from someone who would just want to be treated like a normal person and probably has enough friends as it is.

Her innocence comes off as relatable to you because it’s so funny and silly, but deep down you know she just wants to actually tell everyone to fuck off, including you. Between the media and everyone vying for her attention, you can’t imagine she’s in the market for a new squad when her best friend is Amy fucking Schumer. If you don’t have a million Instagram followers? You’re done. Can’t afford to fly to The Bahamas and play with those pigs in the water at the drop of a hat? Boom, you’re out the squad. Oh, you’re not going to the Dior Oscars after-party? Before you know it, texts aren’t coming through to you on the same group thread anymore. Sorry, that’s just the way it is.

Do yourself a favor and stop pretending like you could possibly be friends with Jennifer Lawrence. Oh, and Amy Schumer and Taylor Swift don’t want to be friends with you either. Actually, Taylor Swift probably does because she’s desperate for everyone to like her.

Image via YouTube

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at

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