Pondering your lunch plan four hours before lunch. PGP.

Married coworkers living vicariously through you. PGP.

Having the constant fear that my mute button will malfunction at the worst possible time. PGP.

Listening to coworkers rephrase SportsCenter sound bites as their own opinions. PGP.

Found out my old middle school bully works at Starbucks. I go there twice a week in a suit. PGP

I just told somebody to “join the team.” I feel like a little part of me has died.

Having to check instagrams to figure out whether or not she has kid(s). PGP.

I took a sick day today. My boss has been emailing me nonstop. PGP.

Phoning it in today.

Fell for a Tinder bot…again. PGP.