Between him not remembering previous meetings, the “transformative year” line, and that XMass party pic, I’m going with the Jake used to be a blackout drunk theory.
The Netherlands are home to one of the greatest munchies snacks ever, kroketten- basically deep fried goulash sticks. And you can actually get these things out of vending machines (yes, the Dutch invented a deep-friar equipped vending machine). I was kind of mad when my host took me to get kroketten after our coffee shop stop, because I thought I wanted some french fries with a big-ass cup of mayo. But man, it hit the spot.
I actually prefer a good April or May slush day when you can hit the patio for a beer between pond skims. But honestly, if the sun is out, the snow is good, and I have a beer in my hand, I’m not complaining.
Grad program: I had a huge crush on a woman in law school, and asked her out twice. After the second rejection, I stopped asking, because I knew that any further invitations might be interpreted as harassment. I’d say there is a decent chance this is what he’s thinking too. So you are going to have to pull the trigger.
Oh good God, don’t get married because dating is getting old and it’s about time you proposed. Unless you’ve always been really curious about how this whole divorce thing works.
My neighbor almost ended up like that, but luckily, he and the woman he cheated with realized they were a terrible couple. Which is another reason letter writer should get on with his life until the marriage ends on its own- if someone breaks up their marriage to be with you, that puts all kinds of pressure on that relationship to work, and you’re going to make bad decisions.
Because the letter writer thinks this newly rekindled connection is about her wanting to be with him, while there’s a 95% chance that it’s about her being unhappy in her marriage.
THIS is a solid list. Not that I will ever complain about drinking Tecate or Sol, but there’s Mexican beer beyond the gold ones, and Victoria is the absolute shit.
That’s if you’re trying to win. If all you have to do is cross the finish line, you can go for 8 or 9 minute miles, and still be done without a whole lot of effort in under 30 minutes. I haven’t run in 10 years (I’m saving my knees for a lifetime of skiing), but I could totally get off my couch on a whim, run for a half hour, and log in 3.1 miles. I’d probably be pretty sore by the end, but I could do it.
If you live in a legal weed state, I highly recommend skipping the Adderall, going down to your local dispensary, and asking for an eighth of their best house cleaning strain.
Anyone else super disappointed that Dubai guy won’t be going to Cabo in May? Because there’s no way that wasn’t going to end with him being held captive by the Jalisco New Generation for a few days, and that email was going to be epic.
Steak and a BJ day existed long before teenage boys claimed to have invented it. It’s called Father’s Day. It requires a lot of work and commitment, but if you commit yourself, once a year, you get to grill steak, enjoy the NBA finals or US open while wife puts the kids to bed, and get a little reward before you turn in.
Women totally overthink the birthday present. No man has ever been upset about getting a birthday BJ. Five minutes and some Listerine, and you’ve got this guy eating out of your hand for the next month.
Based on my experience, you have three years to blame farts on the kid. Mine is three and a half, and she will let you know if she feels she has been unjustly accused of doing anything. (She will also announce that she has just farted 9 times out of 10, so you’ll have to explain why the kid didn’t immediately take credit.)
I feel like there are taxidermy shops in hipster shopping areas across the country. At least I saw a few in the Village last time I was there, and I’m sure they exist in Santa Monica. Is it really that odd?
Whatever. Good work, Kendall. You made it to the last three, you aren’t stuck dating Arie for the next few months, and if it’s any consolation, you joined Carly Waddell in my “Bachelor contestants I would actually want to date in real life” hall of fame.
If she wanted to date you at all, now or in the future, she wouldn’t have shot down your kiss attempt, and you’d probably be dating in spite of her life not being settled. That’s just how it works. Don’t wait on her, because she’s not interested. Find someone who is.
I guess if you have the choice to go into life-long crippling debt to either (a) go to law school or (b) get made fun of internationally but still call your self an Olympian, I can see the appeal of option (b).
Ski trip rule number one: always put the beginner in a lesson. Lessons have saved marriages. Don’t blow a day on the hill and risk losing a friend (or in this case worse) because you think you can talk them through pizza-french fries.
(My wife had a vase shatter in her hand at work and had to have that tendon surgery. You pretty much have to re-learn how to use your entire hand.)
Kendall is definitely high on my “Bachelor contestants I would actually want to date*” list as well, but she needs to get out of Bachelor nation. She’s apparently got a good thing going with set design, she’s obviously a completely sane, stable person, and she should have no problem finding a great guy who isn’t in it for the Insta followers. Same goes for Jacqueline.
*I fully acknowledge that anyone who makes this list is probably out of my league.
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Between him not remembering previous meetings, the “transformative year” line, and that XMass party pic, I’m going with the Jake used to be a blackout drunk theory.
The Netherlands are home to one of the greatest munchies snacks ever, kroketten- basically deep fried goulash sticks. And you can actually get these things out of vending machines (yes, the Dutch invented a deep-friar equipped vending machine). I was kind of mad when my host took me to get kroketten after our coffee shop stop, because I thought I wanted some french fries with a big-ass cup of mayo. But man, it hit the spot.
I actually prefer a good April or May slush day when you can hit the patio for a beer between pond skims. But honestly, if the sun is out, the snow is good, and I have a beer in my hand, I’m not complaining.
Grad program: I had a huge crush on a woman in law school, and asked her out twice. After the second rejection, I stopped asking, because I knew that any further invitations might be interpreted as harassment. I’d say there is a decent chance this is what he’s thinking too. So you are going to have to pull the trigger.
Oh good God, don’t get married because dating is getting old and it’s about time you proposed. Unless you’ve always been really curious about how this whole divorce thing works.
My neighbor almost ended up like that, but luckily, he and the woman he cheated with realized they were a terrible couple. Which is another reason letter writer should get on with his life until the marriage ends on its own- if someone breaks up their marriage to be with you, that puts all kinds of pressure on that relationship to work, and you’re going to make bad decisions.
Because the letter writer thinks this newly rekindled connection is about her wanting to be with him, while there’s a 95% chance that it’s about her being unhappy in her marriage.
THIS is a solid list. Not that I will ever complain about drinking Tecate or Sol, but there’s Mexican beer beyond the gold ones, and Victoria is the absolute shit.
That’s if you’re trying to win. If all you have to do is cross the finish line, you can go for 8 or 9 minute miles, and still be done without a whole lot of effort in under 30 minutes. I haven’t run in 10 years (I’m saving my knees for a lifetime of skiing), but I could totally get off my couch on a whim, run for a half hour, and log in 3.1 miles. I’d probably be pretty sore by the end, but I could do it.
If you live in a legal weed state, I highly recommend skipping the Adderall, going down to your local dispensary, and asking for an eighth of their best house cleaning strain.
Pullover dude: steal her clock, and arrange an exchange.
Anyone else super disappointed that Dubai guy won’t be going to Cabo in May? Because there’s no way that wasn’t going to end with him being held captive by the Jalisco New Generation for a few days, and that email was going to be epic.
Steak and a BJ day existed long before teenage boys claimed to have invented it. It’s called Father’s Day. It requires a lot of work and commitment, but if you commit yourself, once a year, you get to grill steak, enjoy the NBA finals or US open while wife puts the kids to bed, and get a little reward before you turn in.
Women totally overthink the birthday present. No man has ever been upset about getting a birthday BJ. Five minutes and some Listerine, and you’ve got this guy eating out of your hand for the next month.
Based on my experience, you have three years to blame farts on the kid. Mine is three and a half, and she will let you know if she feels she has been unjustly accused of doing anything. (She will also announce that she has just farted 9 times out of 10, so you’ll have to explain why the kid didn’t immediately take credit.)
I feel like there are taxidermy shops in hipster shopping areas across the country. At least I saw a few in the Village last time I was there, and I’m sure they exist in Santa Monica. Is it really that odd?
Whatever. Good work, Kendall. You made it to the last three, you aren’t stuck dating Arie for the next few months, and if it’s any consolation, you joined Carly Waddell in my “Bachelor contestants I would actually want to date in real life” hall of fame.
If she wanted to date you at all, now or in the future, she wouldn’t have shot down your kiss attempt, and you’d probably be dating in spite of her life not being settled. That’s just how it works. Don’t wait on her, because she’s not interested. Find someone who is.
I guess if you have the choice to go into life-long crippling debt to either (a) go to law school or (b) get made fun of internationally but still call your self an Olympian, I can see the appeal of option (b).
Ski trip rule number one: always put the beginner in a lesson. Lessons have saved marriages. Don’t blow a day on the hill and risk losing a friend (or in this case worse) because you think you can talk them through pizza-french fries.
(My wife had a vase shatter in her hand at work and had to have that tendon surgery. You pretty much have to re-learn how to use your entire hand.)
Kendall is definitely high on my “Bachelor contestants I would actually want to date*” list as well, but she needs to get out of Bachelor nation. She’s apparently got a good thing going with set design, she’s obviously a completely sane, stable person, and she should have no problem finding a great guy who isn’t in it for the Insta followers. Same goes for Jacqueline.
*I fully acknowledge that anyone who makes this list is probably out of my league.