Making a list of all the different lists you need to make. PGP.

Reading articles about office productivity hacks with zero intention of implementing any of them. PGP.

The first word out of my mouth every day is “fuuuuuuck.” PGP.

Regretting the obligatory “If you have any questions, please let me know” after someone emails you back with a question. PGP.

Ending emails with a passive aggressive “please help me understand” after irrefutably supporting your case. I know I’m right, do you? PGP.

My married manager asks about my sexual conquests. Every Monday. PGP.

So. Many. Weddings. PGP.

I can’t believe I was the best candidate for the job. I’m a dipshit employee. PGP.

I had to stop and take a breather during a hookup this weekend. PGP.