I get more LinkedIn notifications than Bumble.

Just bragged to someone about my Credit score. PGP.

Planning your lunch break around when your 12 hour Tinder timeout expires. PGP.

Receding hairline. PGP.

Only 45 more years. #PGP

Hit the accelerator on a yellow light today, it’s the most alive I’ve felt all month. PGP

I get paid $25/hr. I still go halves on a $10 bottle of vodka. PGP.

Stressed because I’m losing hair, losing hair because I’m stressed. PGP.

Forgetting your headphones is like the end of the world. PGP.

Applying to other jobs while still on the clock. PGP.