You have to be smooth twitch situations like this. That’s why it’s always good to say something mysterious yet clever like “oh, I didn’t know I was having the shashimi tbis late at night but I’ll oblige” but you have to do it with a warm smile and then give out a little chuckle so she knows you’re sort of being serious while not seeming serous at the same time. Either way, she’ll be perplexed but once that bean starts getting flicked with your tongue, she’ll forget about the wall of confusion and begin to understand that maybe, just maybe, you weren’t really talking about sushi
Oh you’re dead inside too? Welcome. We’ve been trying to attract new members. Here’s our brochure, you can find us on WebMD under the depression symptoms link. Just scroll past all that sadness crap and you’ll find the existential root causes at the bottom
Oh you. You stupid little insignificant cunt. Do you think I really give a shit about what you think? Honestly? I know that the word lemmings was a big word for you and you should cite your sources when you spew such irrelevant garbage on here because your about as original as a carbon copy of some spreadsheet screenshot in every single fucking office, everywhere. And just so you know, hot air rises which is something I’m doing so I’ll take the compliment. That’s science. Maybe if you weren’t from Atlanta you’d understand that concept but you’ve been mentally poisoned by the false promises of an invisible man that kills people who don’t conform while also preaching acceptance and love. You are a dumb, sick fuck and I think it would be best if you put that license to carry to good use. This time though, maybe point the barrel to your face, make a YouTube video, and pull the trigger because that video will be the only resin of your existence on this planet and still, I don’t even think a lot of people would give a shit.
Good! Fuck those jobs. The human condition has already been replaced by pills, fake smiles, and hopelessness anyway. Plus have you talked to a person you don’t know for more than 5 minutes? That’s time you’ll never get back as you sit through talks about the weather or some other useless information just to arbitrarily fill time and space as if we know for certain that time and space actually exist.
Great read, man. I graduated high school with a 0.9% GPA, I was basically asked to leave. All my teachers would pull me aside and ask why I’m not excelling, I never did home work, I didn’t show up to class a lot of times because I’d go to the cafeteria study blocks to chill with friends. They used to say I wasn’t smart enough to go to college yet I was in AP physics, chemistry, and English and murdered every test. They hated me. They reported me to the guidance counselor and a school parole officer and I would have to sit down with this guy twice a week so he could talk me into being interested in school they’d make me take aptitude tests and solve problems in front of him, with no luck one day he snapped and screamed at me and said I’d never amount to anything and I won’t go to college and I’m an idiot. 2 weeks later, I was pulled back into their office and shown my results. I was told my IQ was on the high end of the spectrum and then they said I was a disappointment that wasted my abilities. I pulled out a piece of paper showing my acceptance to college for architectural engineering and my signature showing my commitment as a recruit for lacrosse (which was the only reason I got into college) and then I laughed at him and walked out. Top 3 best days of my life.
I’ll just go up there and be like “so what do you folks think about the String Cheese Incident? I myself haven’t been able to cope and recover from it. Oh you thought I was talking about that jam band? Go fuck yourselves, alright.”
JR, I was in San Fran 2 weeks ago. If I come back there lets do some drugs on your roof deck, play video games, and write jokes so we can hit the stand up scene. I’ll open up for you and completely bomb to soften the audience and you can roll in there and knock them dead (figuratively because I’m not really into murdering people for real)
We’re lucky if we make it past 2017 so this is a non-issue. If you’re that worried about it just jump on the nootropics band wagon and sell your first start up by next month.
Guys, I hate to break it to you but the aliens are already here, they’ve been here for thousands of years. Many species have assimilated into our cultures, some live under ground in advanced tunnel networks where the entrances are temporary holographic openings. These openings are government protected in remote areas across the US and the world. The Ex Canadian Prime Minister broke the news wide open in a public forum speech. The military/government provides asylum for some of the alien species and in return, they help us with technological advancements in weaponry, energy, and health. Many of the species are humanoid and friendly, they want to assist us as a race so that we can prosper and not destroy such mineral/resource rich planet. However, some of the species are hostel and want to use us as slaves to extract the resources they need for their energy sources (I.e. Gold in fusion reaction) they too are in dealings with the government and the military, dthese species come from above and have a colony on the dark side of the moon where mining operations for Helium 3 are on going (a duffel bag sized amount of Helium 3 can power an entire city for a decade with no emissions) this is why there was such a push in earlier decades for countries to ramp up their space programs. If you really think about it, this starts to make more sense then the lives we’ve been told to live through programmed conditioning. If I am killed, it was probably by the hand of the Clinton’s along with the 49+ other people in recent years who have exposed their crimes and shady dealings.
Will, I will willfully hire an autonomous robot with advanced software systems to take my job so that I have have a 7 day weekend. Bring on the Matrix, I’m ready to use all my free time to forage for food and hang out all day. Just think, it’s like a giant scavenger hunt and when you find something, you. Get to live another day to play. I learned about this in my dreams and you can’t lie in dreams unless you put the work American in front of it but that’s beside the point.
No more Sunday Scaries? She should tell that to the kids in Syria who are getting their houses bombed by their own government, then getting their family members killed by ISIS when they leave said house, then becoming a casualty from US and Russian bombing raids, then also being in the crossfire between Peshmerga PKK, ISIS, and The Syrian Army under Assad. But it’s cool, she’s not privileged or anything for being able to have a head that oversees her typing mentally retarded shit like this as she sits in a cozy coffee shop space probably holding back the urge to cry because her screen play didn’t get piloted so she has to resort to this in order to salvage some respect while also projecting a lifestyle on social media that makes her life look like a giant void of hypocrisy.
So does that make me an asshole when I tell the dark truth masked behind comedy,sarcasm, and satire? Being funny is hard because it’s just forged out of so much pain. I wish I was more like you people where I get to enjoy the comedy but I’m over here just dying on the vine as I write these god damn things, probably drop dead of a heart attack as someone tries to tell me the same story about their son making varsity soccer as a freshman and I have to sit here and hold in the urge to tell him that life is not his friend but I’m like 20 years younger than him so what the fuck do I know?
Here at Devin O’Brien, your opinion matters. Thank you for taking the time to express your concerns. A trusted associate will be in contact with you shortly to discuss your ongoing situation.
Thank you for your patience.
P.S. Kohl’s is having a sale on long sleeve Cutter & Buck button downs which are perfect for the circumference of your neck and or balling up and placing in your mouth until you know your place in this realm.
Advertise
You have to be smooth twitch situations like this. That’s why it’s always good to say something mysterious yet clever like “oh, I didn’t know I was having the shashimi tbis late at night but I’ll oblige” but you have to do it with a warm smile and then give out a little chuckle so she knows you’re sort of being serious while not seeming serous at the same time. Either way, she’ll be perplexed but once that bean starts getting flicked with your tongue, she’ll forget about the wall of confusion and begin to understand that maybe, just maybe, you weren’t really talking about sushi
Saturday Night Sushi Stopper
Oh you’re dead inside too? Welcome. We’ve been trying to attract new members. Here’s our brochure, you can find us on WebMD under the depression symptoms link. Just scroll past all that sadness crap and you’ll find the existential root causes at the bottom
I’m a homeless man holding the sign that says some ambiguous slogan about the end of days everywhere, in every major city across America.
Idk what got into me. I drank at lunch today so that could be it but I had a salad with it which I though would mellow me out more. I guess not n
Holy shit that was aggressive. Don’t kill your self I need your dumb input to further my motivation to continue doing this shit.
Oh you. You stupid little insignificant cunt. Do you think I really give a shit about what you think? Honestly? I know that the word lemmings was a big word for you and you should cite your sources when you spew such irrelevant garbage on here because your about as original as a carbon copy of some spreadsheet screenshot in every single fucking office, everywhere. And just so you know, hot air rises which is something I’m doing so I’ll take the compliment. That’s science. Maybe if you weren’t from Atlanta you’d understand that concept but you’ve been mentally poisoned by the false promises of an invisible man that kills people who don’t conform while also preaching acceptance and love. You are a dumb, sick fuck and I think it would be best if you put that license to carry to good use. This time though, maybe point the barrel to your face, make a YouTube video, and pull the trigger because that video will be the only resin of your existence on this planet and still, I don’t even think a lot of people would give a shit.
Good! Fuck those jobs. The human condition has already been replaced by pills, fake smiles, and hopelessness anyway. Plus have you talked to a person you don’t know for more than 5 minutes? That’s time you’ll never get back as you sit through talks about the weather or some other useless information just to arbitrarily fill time and space as if we know for certain that time and space actually exist.
The moral of this story kids, is that I sound like mch and ATLguy with that comment and that’s not a good place to be in.
Great read, man. I graduated high school with a 0.9% GPA, I was basically asked to leave. All my teachers would pull me aside and ask why I’m not excelling, I never did home work, I didn’t show up to class a lot of times because I’d go to the cafeteria study blocks to chill with friends. They used to say I wasn’t smart enough to go to college yet I was in AP physics, chemistry, and English and murdered every test. They hated me. They reported me to the guidance counselor and a school parole officer and I would have to sit down with this guy twice a week so he could talk me into being interested in school they’d make me take aptitude tests and solve problems in front of him, with no luck one day he snapped and screamed at me and said I’d never amount to anything and I won’t go to college and I’m an idiot. 2 weeks later, I was pulled back into their office and shown my results. I was told my IQ was on the high end of the spectrum and then they said I was a disappointment that wasted my abilities. I pulled out a piece of paper showing my acceptance to college for architectural engineering and my signature showing my commitment as a recruit for lacrosse (which was the only reason I got into college) and then I laughed at him and walked out. Top 3 best days of my life.
I’ll just go up there and be like “so what do you folks think about the String Cheese Incident? I myself haven’t been able to cope and recover from it. Oh you thought I was talking about that jam band? Go fuck yourselves, alright.”
That’s true man, I’m glad we’re on the same page in that one.
JR, I was in San Fran 2 weeks ago. If I come back there lets do some drugs on your roof deck, play video games, and write jokes so we can hit the stand up scene. I’ll open up for you and completely bomb to soften the audience and you can roll in there and knock them dead (figuratively because I’m not really into murdering people for real)
We’re lucky if we make it past 2017 so this is a non-issue. If you’re that worried about it just jump on the nootropics band wagon and sell your first start up by next month.
Guys, I hate to break it to you but the aliens are already here, they’ve been here for thousands of years. Many species have assimilated into our cultures, some live under ground in advanced tunnel networks where the entrances are temporary holographic openings. These openings are government protected in remote areas across the US and the world. The Ex Canadian Prime Minister broke the news wide open in a public forum speech. The military/government provides asylum for some of the alien species and in return, they help us with technological advancements in weaponry, energy, and health. Many of the species are humanoid and friendly, they want to assist us as a race so that we can prosper and not destroy such mineral/resource rich planet. However, some of the species are hostel and want to use us as slaves to extract the resources they need for their energy sources (I.e. Gold in fusion reaction) they too are in dealings with the government and the military, dthese species come from above and have a colony on the dark side of the moon where mining operations for Helium 3 are on going (a duffel bag sized amount of Helium 3 can power an entire city for a decade with no emissions) this is why there was such a push in earlier decades for countries to ramp up their space programs. If you really think about it, this starts to make more sense then the lives we’ve been told to live through programmed conditioning. If I am killed, it was probably by the hand of the Clinton’s along with the 49+ other people in recent years who have exposed their crimes and shady dealings.
I can’t type. I’m mailing it in for the day to reflect and regret my past life decisions.
Will, I will willfully hire an autonomous robot with advanced software systems to take my job so that I have have a 7 day weekend. Bring on the Matrix, I’m ready to use all my free time to forage for food and hang out all day. Just think, it’s like a giant scavenger hunt and when you find something, you. Get to live another day to play. I learned about this in my dreams and you can’t lie in dreams unless you put the work American in front of it but that’s beside the point.
No more Sunday Scaries? She should tell that to the kids in Syria who are getting their houses bombed by their own government, then getting their family members killed by ISIS when they leave said house, then becoming a casualty from US and Russian bombing raids, then also being in the crossfire between Peshmerga PKK, ISIS, and The Syrian Army under Assad. But it’s cool, she’s not privileged or anything for being able to have a head that oversees her typing mentally retarded shit like this as she sits in a cozy coffee shop space probably holding back the urge to cry because her screen play didn’t get piloted so she has to resort to this in order to salvage some respect while also projecting a lifestyle on social media that makes her life look like a giant void of hypocrisy.
So does that make me an asshole when I tell the dark truth masked behind comedy,sarcasm, and satire? Being funny is hard because it’s just forged out of so much pain. I wish I was more like you people where I get to enjoy the comedy but I’m over here just dying on the vine as I write these god damn things, probably drop dead of a heart attack as someone tries to tell me the same story about their son making varsity soccer as a freshman and I have to sit here and hold in the urge to tell him that life is not his friend but I’m like 20 years younger than him so what the fuck do I know?
Hello,
Here at Devin O’Brien, your opinion matters. Thank you for taking the time to express your concerns. A trusted associate will be in contact with you shortly to discuss your ongoing situation.
Thank you for your patience.
P.S. Kohl’s is having a sale on long sleeve Cutter & Buck button downs which are perfect for the circumference of your neck and or balling up and placing in your mouth until you know your place in this realm.