Don’t worry, all those Midwest Salt Lifers will soon be bidding on beach front property in Nebraska in about 20 years. They’re playing the long game and so am I which is why I’m shorting humanity lol
If I ever had to do any sort of negotiations with the mafia, I’d find me a guy like Mr. Rogers. So polite and genuinely kind but you and I know that deep down, people like that are the real lunatics and the most hard. They’re like The Joker without the physical face paint, instead their peaceful expression is their face disguise lol
Ahhh, yes. That ever mysterious yet devilishly enticing old grassy knoll that changes the perspective of everything you ever thought was wholesome in this simulation dimension lol
I think all she would have to do is link that burner Venmo account to an HSBC checking account and she’d be fine. She might even be able to purchase weapons from the Taliban like she’s buying soap from Amazon and they won’t even flinch lol
Their last name sounds like an evil alien character’s name on Rick and Morty who gets it’s head blown off by Rick’s laser gun or something. Basically, kids, you can now become famous for being and exuberayting absolute nothingness with no talent or substance lol
First of all, I’m honored that my name came up in this piece. That being said, I think you boys have some of the strongest podcasting chops going. I’m fully onboard. I’m waiting in the butcher shop line each week and I want that sweet fuckin’ BBQ sauce to marinate my brain aurally. I also have another column in the works. It might seem dark but I mean, look around the world in which we live. Also, if you guys need an app guy to help the development cycle along, you know where to find me. Have a great weekend, folks!
Only invest in things that are going to increase in value over time and keep all of your money offshore via a shell corporation. The only depreciating asset you should invest in is yourself lol
When people say this to me, it’s funny to say “let’s hang out right now. I’m ready” and then that look of awkwardness/fumbling for an excuse on their face is priceless and then you can laugh and say “I’m kidding I don’t want to hang out with you…probably ever” lol
“Okay, coming right up. Can I get a name for that, please?”
“Sure thing, the name is Capitalism has gone rogue and has utterly suffocated the majority by making them think they are capitalists for much of their lives but actually they were just expendable cogs in the gear box, getting siphoned off by the actual capitalists who also created brands and places like this for the irrelevant to flock to in order to stupidly become loyal to in order to perpetuate the cycle under the guise of buying power when all it really is designed for is pure monopolistic consumption” lol
Keep your head up, when his new job gets replaced by automation in like 2 years, he’ll come loitering back. They always do. That’s all people fuckin’ do anyway is loiter everywhere just taking up space. But you, you’ll be just fine
But dude, SF is the greatest city in the world for people who want to make 6figures and still be hovering at the poverty line. It really gets the adrenaline pumping knowing that you still might die of starvation after you pay your rent for a place that has human shit smeared on your stoop every other week. It’s great lol
^ now accepting wagers on this guy never retiring. Bidding starts at $300. This is for sure not a pun but a means to generate passive income in an economic system that threw you overboard before you were even born. Welcome to the meat grinder motherfucker! Lol
You can only walk away from your company fully vested while wearing a vest to let everyone know that you’ll still probably never retire but you still mean business anyway lol
much like how we culturally appropriated the drug trade, we did the same dirty deed to the taco and pretty much everything else in our culture but worse because we corporatized it. Now we are only left with false options that act as freedom of choice in a confined system where the only chore is to shut your god damn mouths, pay your mother fucking bills, and keep digging your ass to work until you die…Taco Bell will become the new form of retirement if you catch my hot sauce or whatever lol
Advertise
Don’t worry, all those Midwest Salt Lifers will soon be bidding on beach front property in Nebraska in about 20 years. They’re playing the long game and so am I which is why I’m shorting humanity lol
Guys, everyone knows that knowledge is the best snack because without it, you’ll never realize that almost everything is pretty much bullshit lol
Ford Taurus sedan with baggy dress clothes from Filenes Basement or JC Penney
If I ever had to do any sort of negotiations with the mafia, I’d find me a guy like Mr. Rogers. So polite and genuinely kind but you and I know that deep down, people like that are the real lunatics and the most hard. They’re like The Joker without the physical face paint, instead their peaceful expression is their face disguise lol
Ahhh, yes. That ever mysterious yet devilishly enticing old grassy knoll that changes the perspective of everything you ever thought was wholesome in this simulation dimension lol
I think all she would have to do is link that burner Venmo account to an HSBC checking account and she’d be fine. She might even be able to purchase weapons from the Taliban like she’s buying soap from Amazon and they won’t even flinch lol
Their last name sounds like an evil alien character’s name on Rick and Morty who gets it’s head blown off by Rick’s laser gun or something. Basically, kids, you can now become famous for being and exuberayting absolute nothingness with no talent or substance lol
First of all, I’m honored that my name came up in this piece. That being said, I think you boys have some of the strongest podcasting chops going. I’m fully onboard. I’m waiting in the butcher shop line each week and I want that sweet fuckin’ BBQ sauce to marinate my brain aurally. I also have another column in the works. It might seem dark but I mean, look around the world in which we live. Also, if you guys need an app guy to help the development cycle along, you know where to find me. Have a great weekend, folks!
Only invest in things that are going to increase in value over time and keep all of your money offshore via a shell corporation. The only depreciating asset you should invest in is yourself lol
When people say this to me, it’s funny to say “let’s hang out right now. I’m ready” and then that look of awkwardness/fumbling for an excuse on their face is priceless and then you can laugh and say “I’m kidding I don’t want to hang out with you…probably ever” lol
Saw All Them Witches not too long ago. Best concert I’ve been to in a long time
“Ahh, hi, I’ll take a vente Americano. Iced”
“Okay, coming right up. Can I get a name for that, please?”
“Sure thing, the name is Capitalism has gone rogue and has utterly suffocated the majority by making them think they are capitalists for much of their lives but actually they were just expendable cogs in the gear box, getting siphoned off by the actual capitalists who also created brands and places like this for the irrelevant to flock to in order to stupidly become loyal to in order to perpetuate the cycle under the guise of buying power when all it really is designed for is pure monopolistic consumption” lol
Keep your head up, when his new job gets replaced by automation in like 2 years, he’ll come loitering back. They always do. That’s all people fuckin’ do anyway is loiter everywhere just taking up space. But you, you’ll be just fine
But dude, SF is the greatest city in the world for people who want to make 6figures and still be hovering at the poverty line. It really gets the adrenaline pumping knowing that you still might die of starvation after you pay your rent for a place that has human shit smeared on your stoop every other week. It’s great lol
^ now accepting wagers on this guy never retiring. Bidding starts at $300. This is for sure not a pun but a means to generate passive income in an economic system that threw you overboard before you were even born. Welcome to the meat grinder motherfucker! Lol
You can only walk away from your company fully vested while wearing a vest to let everyone know that you’ll still probably never retire but you still mean business anyway lol
Hire the man!
Brian’s right, guys. Those horses that lose in the Kentucky Derby and Triple Crown need to go somewhere lol
these typos and terrible sentence structures were brought to you by Moe’s
much like how we culturally appropriated the drug trade, we did the same dirty deed to the taco and pretty much everything else in our culture but worse because we corporatized it. Now we are only left with false options that act as freedom of choice in a confined system where the only chore is to shut your god damn mouths, pay your mother fucking bills, and keep digging your ass to work until you die…Taco Bell will become the new form of retirement if you catch my hot sauce or whatever lol