Actually debating the merits between a booty call and getting sleep. PGP.

Getting a new match on Tinder gives me the same false promise that my degree did. PGP.

My life is now just looking forward to the next time I get drunk and hate myself for it. PGP.

The USMNT waiting to play until happy hour on Monday. PGP.

My only Tinder match in the past week ended up blocking me. I didn’t even say hi. PGP.

Deleted my birth year on Facebook. PGP.

If only they could see my tattoos. PGP.

My parents unknowingly crushed me by canceling their HBO subscription. PGP.

Drinking responsibly just isn’t as fun. PGP.

RE: The person that starts their email message in the subject line…And finishes their statement in the actual email. PGP.