Got the first sunburns of the season this weekend. The longest period of time I was outside was an hour for brunch on the patio. PGP.

Realized at a high school grad party that I’m the drunk cousin. PGP.

Accepted an offer for a new job today and leave for Vegas tomorrow. My out of office is just going to be “I will be out Friday and not will not be returning.” PGP.

Went down a floor in my office building to throw up this morning so my co-workers don’t think I’m a degenerate. PGP.

Post-grad walk of shame- when you spend too much time on your phone when you’re in the crapper and have to walk back to your cube with one or more of your legs asleep. This happens to me a few times a week. PGP.