I’m the asshole who brews a new pot of coffee every time I need a pot of coffee. Every. Time. PGP.

Just overheard my boss say, “I can still do a keg stand.” PGP.

Checking your bank account multiple times a day out of sheer boredom. PGP.

Not getting drunk on the weekends. PGP.

1: “So how long have you been working here?” 2: “Too long.” PGP.

My work playlist should be titled “A compilation of songs that help me not want to kill myself, or anyone else.” PGP.

“Please don’t talk to me. Please don’t talk to me. Please don’t talk to me.” PGP.

Really thought I’d be making more money at this age. PGP.

Giving yourself a pep talk in the parking lot, trying to get motivated to enter the building. PGP.

Having to fake laugh at a chain email an older coworker includes you on. PGP.