Shit I remember Farmville. I remember I made a spreadsheet which incorporated a formula for which crops provided the best money for time for cost to plant. Then I realized after I made the spreadsheet I pretty much beat the game and quit.
Thanks to Facebook, Twitter, and one mildly successful list-style column you had published on the internet, you think you’re going to be famous. And your parents have no idea how #blessed they really are. Because your love life is an actual joke. No. Seriously. It’s pretty LOL worthy. You’re really just an undiagnosed masochist, actually. A self-loathing, depressing, little masochist. Who in no way has her life together. And enjoys blaming her problems on literally everyone else. Because your job is a joke. Who says you’re not independent? Oh, yes. Everyone. And you drink entirely too much. Which is a problem…because you haven’t exercised since high school. Also, you are in no way dramatic. It’s just hard because no one understands how difficult your life is. Good thing you’re pretty good with words — at least online. Honestly. You are just ridiculously unaware of how life works. But you’re trying. Really, really trying.
You you can get arrested and go through the criminal process but let’s be real, you (as in drunk, doughy, cubiclebro you) don’t have the physical ability to hurt someone so much that it will be worthwhile for them to actually sue you.
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Steak sauce? Girl you need to buy better steaks.
We’re all gonna make it brah
Zymurgy, n.: the branch of applied chemistry dealing with fermentation, as in winemaking, brewing, the preparation of yeast, etc.
Not quitting bc you’re not sure if you can get another job. #PGP
“appreciate the GRAVITY of your decisions”
I lol’d
“last-ditch effort”*
Does the carpet match the pubes?
I’m doing my best
did Mary Swanson get a username change or am I imagining things.
Dammit McGannon I’ve been got
War… war never changes.
Yeah that was nonsensical
Dammit McGannon this column was pretty damn funny. So funny it almost makes up for the lack of HHHS, MMM, and Struggle Sunday.
Shit I remember Farmville. I remember I made a spreadsheet which incorporated a formula for which crops provided the best money for time for cost to plant. Then I realized after I made the spreadsheet I pretty much beat the game and quit.
Version for people who hate gifs:
Thanks to Facebook, Twitter, and one mildly successful list-style column you had published on the internet, you think you’re going to be famous. And your parents have no idea how #blessed they really are. Because your love life is an actual joke. No. Seriously. It’s pretty LOL worthy. You’re really just an undiagnosed masochist, actually. A self-loathing, depressing, little masochist. Who in no way has her life together. And enjoys blaming her problems on literally everyone else. Because your job is a joke. Who says you’re not independent? Oh, yes. Everyone. And you drink entirely too much. Which is a problem…because you haven’t exercised since high school. Also, you are in no way dramatic. It’s just hard because no one understands how difficult your life is. Good thing you’re pretty good with words — at least online. Honestly. You are just ridiculously unaware of how life works. But you’re trying. Really, really trying.
Bro a ton of people round these parts have guns, they’re just concealed carrying them or they’re in their cars.
At least give it some time before rehashing an old column. McGannon, you’re slipping.
You you can get arrested and go through the criminal process but let’s be real, you (as in drunk, doughy, cubiclebro you) don’t have the physical ability to hurt someone so much that it will be worthwhile for them to actually sue you.
So you’re saying not that 10 pack of tacos from Taco Bell I see on commercials