Drinking games now means seeing if I can finish a drink without feeling sleepy. PGP.

I have way too much in common with Peter Gibbons for only being 23. PGP.

The first test I’ve taken in years was a 30-question written driving test to renew my license. I failed it. PGP.

Bank info was stolen, but none of the fraudulent charges went through because I don’t have enough money to afford the things they tried to buy. PGP.

I shit more in one day than I did a week in college. PGP.

Brushing your teeth while peeing in the morning to save time. PGP.

That moment of anxiety between logging into your bank account and waiting for the page to load. PGP.

Raging boner in dress pants. PGP.