Running out the clock. PGP.

Was days away from handing in my two weeks at a job I’ve despised for two years. Got a promotion and a 50% raise. Can’t leave now. PGP.

The printer at work was making a painfully high pitched noise, and I was the only one young enough to hear it. PGP.

Talking about corporate the way I used to talk about Nationals in college. PGP.

Getting asked by every fucking friend and family member if you know Jake upon accepting a job with State Farm. PGP.

Taking out of town company workshops because it’s sort of like a vacation. PGP.

Only filling up the gas tank halfway in the hope that prices will fall two cents overnight. PGP.

Got four fortune cookies with my order, because apparently I ordered enough food to feed a family of four. PGP.

My company put me in charge of ordering new business cards for everyone. Say hello to your new Executive Vice President of Marketing Coordination. PGPM.

Really feeling this LL Bean catalog. I thought they just made book bags. PGP.