Just got an outlook invite for an ice cream and cake party to celebrate my last day of work. Fuck. PGP

Counting “typing” as physical exercise and recording it in MyFitnessPal. PGP.

I’m currently getting paid 28.25 an hour to watch netflix at my desk. PGP.

When married guys come into the office happier than usual I just assume they got laid last night. PGP.

The more I have to listen to my middle-age coworker complain about new technology in the office the more I understand the psyche of Patrick Bateman.PGP.

Constantly forwarding emails I sent to my boss to him again because he’s “pretty sure” he wasn’t copied on it. PGP.