We were definitely there. I had a steady FWB throughout college, it was fabulous. No feelings, no commitments, regular sex, plus he was a smart, funny dude and the pillow talk was solid. Per our agreement, if one of us met someone, it was off, but whenever we were both single, it was on.
I’m a social worker at a VA hospital and I was drawn to the field because I have family and friends who have served. I can tell you, based both on abundant quantitative research and also personal anecdotes, that PTSD is not overblown and affects every aspect of a veteran’s life. These veterans tend to be the ones who society despises and shits on (homeless people, addicts, felons, mentally ill, those who depend on welfare, “go get a job and stop mooching” etc). We the people tend to care about the “worthy” veterans, those who come back and march in parades, get jobs, and wear medals, the ones that make us feel good about ourselves and how well we take care of our veterans. Those who come back changed by the horrors of war are the ones who make us uncomfortable, so we ignore them and pat ourselves on the back for the great job we’re doing. We as a country CAN do much better.
Nah I like the jack-hammering, BUT only if you’ve done your due diligence and gotten me revved up and ready to go. Jack hammering is the final sprint at the end of the race.
Yep, as a lady myself, I’d be a little skeeved out by either of the lines you offered in your question, but I do think it’s possible to approach her in a non-creepy way and eventually get a date out of this and this^^ line is the way to do it.
Actually, I highly recommend January for a wedding. Everything is SERIOUSLY cheap as shit and you get pretty much everything you ask for (no, I don’t feel like paying the venue rental fee…oh you’ll waive it?…great!) Plus my venue was still decorated with wreaths and candles so flower/decor budget=$0. And we took cozy adorable bundled-up-in-alllll-the-knitted-outerwear photos. I live in northern New England so blizzard was always a risk, but it ended up working out. Then we got right on a plane to the Caribbean for our honeymoon.
Hey now. No one dislikes Lena Dunham and her over reactive whining about non-issues more than me, but ^that is a solid point. I won’t reiterate why that guy is a dick because GSD said it all.
I’m less bothered by the fact that he didn’t want to have sex (shocking but fine, whatever) and more ticked off that he tried to put it on(not in) her. If he’s not into her and being a good guy by not f**king and dumping, fine, have the balls to say that. Don’t make her feel like shit by saying girls who sleep with guys can’t be taken seriously/respected. That’s an asshole thing to say.
Snow is annoying as fuck, Jaime is hot but a little nuts. Tyrion may be a dwarf, but he’s incredibly intelligent/interesting and I’d never be bored during that marriage…plus he’s large where it counts, practiced in bed, and probably puts in way more effort to satisfy his lady to compensate for his shortcomings in the looks department. Total win.
Truth. I’m from MA so my allegiance is to Sam Adams for the hometown pride, but if I just wanna down a few cheap ones, it’s Coors Lite all day. And I might get shit for this one, but in the summer nothing beats Bud Lite Lime
1. No idea how they got started
2. Yes, the idea that I’m in control and making him wild is a super turn on, which is why I prefer the BJ as foreplay and we then switch to sex so I can get mine too.
3. Hopefully not too long. Jaw and hands get tired
4. The only bad thing you can do is push my head down. Do that and you’re getting nothing
5. You get good by reading tips from women’s magazines (only the ones written by actual guys), trying them out and paying attention to what works and what is just ehhh.
6. Thinking about…how I am a master BJ goddess in total control and also how I hope we’re almost there because I’m getting tired.
By the time we moved in together, I already knew what it was like to live with him because we had been spending pretty much every single night at either my place or his. He already knew I was a slob and I knew he had a germ phobia and farted in his sleep. We had already figured out how to compromise on those things and that we were compatible living mates well before we moved in. I’d never waste the time and money moving in with someone I wasn’t going to commit to long term (we’re now married). To each their own though, whatever works!
Apparently the blow dry was an extra $32 which NO ONE mentioned and it definitely was not on their price list. The price list said “Add blow dry to haircut for $12” which they later claimed was only for short pixie cuts and long hair got charged the price of a “blowout”. I mildly flipped out at the bullshit of that, but they didn’t budge so I paid it, but I was pissed.
I used to get “are you sick?” every time I went makeup free at work. Then I started night graduate classes, got too busy for makeup, and now whenever I wear it, I get “wow you look fabulous today!”. Kinda nice change, to be honest.
SuperCuts just charged me $55 for a wash, cut and blow dry. For my non-layered, non-colored, just-need-a-trim hair. For those prices I might as well have just gone to a real salon.
Oh jeez. I kind of want to smack you playfully and then teach you how to be an adult. Men have real beds, food in their fridge, toilet paper in their bathroom, and don’t dress like slobs. Boys, on the other hand, sleep in shitholes on the floor and live in sweatpants. Guess which one the ladies want to date?
I would not have the first date there, but my now-husband and I had our 3rd date at the gym and it was actually awesome. I got to wear a cute tight cropped top (back in the days when I had abs–working on getting those back) and short shorts, he got to check me out not at all subtlety and we did zero lifting but instead ran side by side on the treadmill and ran slow enough so we could chat the whole time. I was trying to impress him so I ran much longer than I normally do. After the gym we walked to the grocery store and bought deli meat/cheese/lettuce, went to his place, had wild/sweaty sex, followed this up with enormous sandwiches and ate them on his front porch. Overall, fucking awesome third date.
Johnny, sometimes I read your column and cringe because you’re just a LITTLE degrading towards women. But then I read something like this and I get the sense that you’re a truly nice guy that is trying to give the readers what they want and also is simply telling it like it is. We’ve all hooked up with strangers and told every single disgusting detail to our friends, you just happen to do it with the internet (so yes, get a pen name…but to be clear the pen name is not to hide what you do from future girlfriends. Be honest about it or the relationship will fail. Find a girl who thinks it’s funny/sexy/whatever. The pen name is to protect your identity from EVERYONE else who will Google your name)
Coming from a woman, my advice is to 1. date women your own age (I’ve been a 21 year old girl and they’re mostly all into constantly going out to these parties you sometimes hate and never making any commitments. #springbreakup) and 2. be completely honest from the get go about exactly who you are. I’m also a friendly introvert. When I’m rested and prepared I can make small talk with a stone wall, but most of the time it’s exhausting. Find someone who shares this quality with you. Good luck!
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Victoria, you are, without a doubt, my favorite PGP writer.
We were definitely there. I had a steady FWB throughout college, it was fabulous. No feelings, no commitments, regular sex, plus he was a smart, funny dude and the pillow talk was solid. Per our agreement, if one of us met someone, it was off, but whenever we were both single, it was on.
I’m a social worker at a VA hospital and I was drawn to the field because I have family and friends who have served. I can tell you, based both on abundant quantitative research and also personal anecdotes, that PTSD is not overblown and affects every aspect of a veteran’s life. These veterans tend to be the ones who society despises and shits on (homeless people, addicts, felons, mentally ill, those who depend on welfare, “go get a job and stop mooching” etc). We the people tend to care about the “worthy” veterans, those who come back and march in parades, get jobs, and wear medals, the ones that make us feel good about ourselves and how well we take care of our veterans. Those who come back changed by the horrors of war are the ones who make us uncomfortable, so we ignore them and pat ourselves on the back for the great job we’re doing. We as a country CAN do much better.
Nah I like the jack-hammering, BUT only if you’ve done your due diligence and gotten me revved up and ready to go. Jack hammering is the final sprint at the end of the race.
Yep, as a lady myself, I’d be a little skeeved out by either of the lines you offered in your question, but I do think it’s possible to approach her in a non-creepy way and eventually get a date out of this and this^^ line is the way to do it.
Actually, I highly recommend January for a wedding. Everything is SERIOUSLY cheap as shit and you get pretty much everything you ask for (no, I don’t feel like paying the venue rental fee…oh you’ll waive it?…great!) Plus my venue was still decorated with wreaths and candles so flower/decor budget=$0. And we took cozy adorable bundled-up-in-alllll-the-knitted-outerwear photos. I live in northern New England so blizzard was always a risk, but it ended up working out. Then we got right on a plane to the Caribbean for our honeymoon.
Hey now. No one dislikes Lena Dunham and her over reactive whining about non-issues more than me, but ^that is a solid point. I won’t reiterate why that guy is a dick because GSD said it all.
I’m less bothered by the fact that he didn’t want to have sex (shocking but fine, whatever) and more ticked off that he tried to put it on(not in) her. If he’s not into her and being a good guy by not f**king and dumping, fine, have the balls to say that. Don’t make her feel like shit by saying girls who sleep with guys can’t be taken seriously/respected. That’s an asshole thing to say.
M Tyrion
F Jaime
K Jon Snow
Snow is annoying as fuck, Jaime is hot but a little nuts. Tyrion may be a dwarf, but he’s incredibly intelligent/interesting and I’d never be bored during that marriage…plus he’s large where it counts, practiced in bed, and probably puts in way more effort to satisfy his lady to compensate for his shortcomings in the looks department. Total win.
Truth. I’m from MA so my allegiance is to Sam Adams for the hometown pride, but if I just wanna down a few cheap ones, it’s Coors Lite all day. And I might get shit for this one, but in the summer nothing beats Bud Lite Lime
1. No idea how they got started
2. Yes, the idea that I’m in control and making him wild is a super turn on, which is why I prefer the BJ as foreplay and we then switch to sex so I can get mine too.
3. Hopefully not too long. Jaw and hands get tired
4. The only bad thing you can do is push my head down. Do that and you’re getting nothing
5. You get good by reading tips from women’s magazines (only the ones written by actual guys), trying them out and paying attention to what works and what is just ehhh.
6. Thinking about…how I am a master BJ goddess in total control and also how I hope we’re almost there because I’m getting tired.
His apartment was right above the bar=easy end-of-night access. Plus he was adorable in earlier seasons before the desperation set in.
By the time we moved in together, I already knew what it was like to live with him because we had been spending pretty much every single night at either my place or his. He already knew I was a slob and I knew he had a germ phobia and farted in his sleep. We had already figured out how to compromise on those things and that we were compatible living mates well before we moved in. I’d never waste the time and money moving in with someone I wasn’t going to commit to long term (we’re now married). To each their own though, whatever works!
Maybe sad news for you. I married the sexiest dude ever and I take advantage of that daily.
Apparently the blow dry was an extra $32 which NO ONE mentioned and it definitely was not on their price list. The price list said “Add blow dry to haircut for $12” which they later claimed was only for short pixie cuts and long hair got charged the price of a “blowout”. I mildly flipped out at the bullshit of that, but they didn’t budge so I paid it, but I was pissed.
I used to get “are you sick?” every time I went makeup free at work. Then I started night graduate classes, got too busy for makeup, and now whenever I wear it, I get “wow you look fabulous today!”. Kinda nice change, to be honest.
SuperCuts just charged me $55 for a wash, cut and blow dry. For my non-layered, non-colored, just-need-a-trim hair. For those prices I might as well have just gone to a real salon.
Oh jeez. I kind of want to smack you playfully and then teach you how to be an adult. Men have real beds, food in their fridge, toilet paper in their bathroom, and don’t dress like slobs. Boys, on the other hand, sleep in shitholes on the floor and live in sweatpants. Guess which one the ladies want to date?
I would not have the first date there, but my now-husband and I had our 3rd date at the gym and it was actually awesome. I got to wear a cute tight cropped top (back in the days when I had abs–working on getting those back) and short shorts, he got to check me out not at all subtlety and we did zero lifting but instead ran side by side on the treadmill and ran slow enough so we could chat the whole time. I was trying to impress him so I ran much longer than I normally do. After the gym we walked to the grocery store and bought deli meat/cheese/lettuce, went to his place, had wild/sweaty sex, followed this up with enormous sandwiches and ate them on his front porch. Overall, fucking awesome third date.
Johnny, sometimes I read your column and cringe because you’re just a LITTLE degrading towards women. But then I read something like this and I get the sense that you’re a truly nice guy that is trying to give the readers what they want and also is simply telling it like it is. We’ve all hooked up with strangers and told every single disgusting detail to our friends, you just happen to do it with the internet (so yes, get a pen name…but to be clear the pen name is not to hide what you do from future girlfriends. Be honest about it or the relationship will fail. Find a girl who thinks it’s funny/sexy/whatever. The pen name is to protect your identity from EVERYONE else who will Google your name)
Coming from a woman, my advice is to 1. date women your own age (I’ve been a 21 year old girl and they’re mostly all into constantly going out to these parties you sometimes hate and never making any commitments. #springbreakup) and 2. be completely honest from the get go about exactly who you are. I’m also a friendly introvert. When I’m rested and prepared I can make small talk with a stone wall, but most of the time it’s exhausting. Find someone who shares this quality with you. Good luck!