I ate healthy last week and still managed to gain two lbs. PGP.

Friendly reminders are never friendly. PGP.

The guy two stalls down from me was snoring this morning. PGP.

Probably gonna miss the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show tonight because it comes on too late. PGP.

Everything gives me heartburn. PGP.

Struck up a flirtationship with the hottest girl in my office. Found out she’s banging my boss. PGP.

Johnny Manziel being stuck behind an incompetent veteran. PGP.

Everyone on my holiday shopping list better be okay with stuff from Trader Joe’s. PGP.

I have to bring my own coffee to work. PGP.

Going stag to the office Holiday party. PGP.