Pretending you were drunk when you were actually just a sober psycho. PGP.

When you lie awake at night and remember that you forgot to send an important email. PGP.

Computer froze on timed slide 124 of 130 on your desktop and now you have to re-start all of the compliance training. PGP.

Old job commute: 17 miles. New job commute: 3.8 miles. PGPM.

Being so busy at work and not getting a chance to get on Tinder. PGP.

Parents threatening to kick you off the family phone plan. PGP.

My boss means to say “cease and desist.” What she actually says, every time, is “stop and decease.” Threatening and confusing, all at once. PGP.

“Synergy.” PGP.

Googling “if I mix coffee and DayQuil will I die?” PGP.

Watching HGTV and drinking scotch. PGP.