I’m old enough to remember when Facebook required you to have a .edu email address to become a member. PGP.

I have $23 in my checking account to last until payday. PGP.

“My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone.” -Patrick Bateman. PGP.

I’ve had to use Urban Dictionary way too much. PGP.

Called into my manager’s office, thought I was getting fired. Turns out they signed me up to take a trip to visit corporate in Germany. Now I’m terrified of getting fired abroad. PGP.

Taking Nyquil because you refuse to become addicted to prescription sleeping drugs. PGP.

It’s that time of year, where you drive to and from work and see absolutely no sunlight. PGP.

My credit card was declined on a first date. PGP.

Pretty sure I will still know every word to “Men in Black” when I’m 70. PGP.

Working on Columbus Day. PGP.