My problem is the exaggerated frequency of things that I am accused of, like being sick a few weeks ago.
Her: You always get sick, why do you get sick so much!?
Me: I haven’t been sick in a year, it was last February when I had strep
Her: Oh, well could you stop ignoring us and spend some time with your family for once?
Me: *folds last piece of 4 load laundry pile* “Sure thing sweetheart.”
Some advice from a fellow former footballer and receiver, don’t kill yourself running fly routes, and posts. They rarely come open in a decently competitive league where teams are smart enough to play zone correctly and not only do they require more effort on the route but then you have a farther jog/walk/limp back to the huddle.
Imagine all the scenarios you could come up with if you were given – stripper cuffs, helicopter, linebacker, and prosthetic leg – and told to make up a story.
I remember growing up having condoms made you cool. Not because of the safety but for the idea that someone might actually want protection from your pre pubescent blanks.
Dewey, what have I ever done to you?
Like that time you woke up in the middle of the night and drank up all the milk! And then I got up to have my corn flakes and there was none left!
Dewey you cheated on me!
Oh, so I’m a cheater, but you can just drink up all the milk?
It’s a tie, though I think the funnier traps were in the 1st movie. The best by far is when he comes through the window and stomps his bare feet on the ornaments.
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They’re only on sale because they advocate Hamster murder
I got this feelin, inside my bones!
My problem is the exaggerated frequency of things that I am accused of, like being sick a few weeks ago.
Her: You always get sick, why do you get sick so much!?
Me: I haven’t been sick in a year, it was last February when I had strep
Her: Oh, well could you stop ignoring us and spend some time with your family for once?
Me: *folds last piece of 4 load laundry pile* “Sure thing sweetheart.”
Some advice from a fellow former footballer and receiver, don’t kill yourself running fly routes, and posts. They rarely come open in a decently competitive league where teams are smart enough to play zone correctly and not only do they require more effort on the route but then you have a farther jog/walk/limp back to the huddle.
I’m a firm believer that any beer-moment is as good as another. Congrats on the beer.
First thing I always notice about Jen Selter? She has top level RBF
Imagine all the scenarios you could come up with if you were given – stripper cuffs, helicopter, linebacker, and prosthetic leg – and told to make up a story.
I remember growing up having condoms made you cool. Not because of the safety but for the idea that someone might actually want protection from your pre pubescent blanks.
“Bars and clubs are really challenging for me” At 5’8, lean build, and mid 30s nobody is surprised.
Dewey, what have I ever done to you?
Like that time you woke up in the middle of the night and drank up all the milk! And then I got up to have my corn flakes and there was none left!
Dewey you cheated on me!
Oh, so I’m a cheater, but you can just drink up all the milk?
“Excessive use of foul language is a big no-no in my book”
Username – Caughtmejerkin
God bless whoever created buffalo chicken
Now there’s a new Holiday tradition
Get your guy some shower gel from BBW, I’d suggest the Bourbon. Stuff has my 1st mate and his circular companions smelling like distinguished success.
Was really hoping Mistletoe by Bieber would be on here. Jam is so fire it’ll light up your yule log.
Normal schedule is out the window this year. Christmas Eve is on a Sunday so football all day and then another two games on Christmas night.
Growing up it was always A Christmas Carol (1951) on Christmas Eve.
Chris Stapleton – Scarecrow in the Garden
5 movies that are must watch (for me) every year at Christmas
Jingle all the way
Home Alone
Home Alone 2
Friday After Next
The Santa Clause
It’s a tie, though I think the funnier traps were in the 1st movie. The best by far is when he comes through the window and stomps his bare feet on the ornaments.
Godless did for Jeff Daniels what True Detective Season 1 did for Matthew McConaughey as far as how I perceive them as legitimately strong actors.
On another note I plan on starting my squad by asking every youngin I come across “Son do you have a pappy?”