Doing just enough to keep the power gut from getting any worse. PGP.

Entering liquor on my fitness pal #pgp

My boss just bought a car that’s worth more than twice my salary. PGP.

Not sure what’s harder to find, an empty, odor-free bathroom at work or a single attractive girl over 25 without major problems. PGP.

Keeping your diploma over your liquor shelf to remind yourself that you can still accomplish things when you spend most of your time drunk. PGP.

I couldn’t name a single song in the Top 40, but I can tell you every song that’s on “The River” by Bruce Springsteen. PGP.

Drinking games now means seeing if I can finish a drink without feeling sleepy. PGP.

I could be on that super-drug from “Lucy” and still wouldn’t be able to get all this shit done. PGP.

The closest thing I have to a lifelong relationship is my relationship with Sallie Mae. PGP.

A firm, yet very depressing sense of self-awareness. PGP.