When leaving 5 min later than normal costs you 45 minutes on your commute…PGP.

No one takes me seriously. PGP.

Seriously debating switching banks because my direct deposit would hit 4 hours earlier.

The 80/20 rule: do 80% of my work in 20% of the week. PGP

Was that a super long dump, or did it seem that way because I left my phone on my desk? PGP

I actually get a high from having a clean desktop and inbox.

I wish I was half as happy as I sound in my emails. PGP.

It will take me approximately 157 years at my current salary to earn what 21 year old Jordan Speith has earned so far in 2015. PGP

Had to actually send a fax today. In the year 2015. PGP.

I don’t even try to hide my dislike for this place anymore.