Stuck between my office’s strict ” No dating in the workplace” policy and my inability to meet anyone outside of the workplace. PGP.

The switch from Market Pantry to Archer Farms on pay day. PGP.

The only men that hit on me are old enough to be my father and creepy enough to be my uncle. PGP.

Spent over four hours today trying to figure out the Rubik’s Cube on the Google home page. PGP.

Brushing your teeth while peeing in the morning to save time. PGP.

Those nights when “dinner” is half a bottle of Two Buck Chuck, a row of Thin Mints, and a full serving of shame. PGP.

The vegan to my left texts with his keyboard sounds enabled, and the nerd to my right breathes like Tony Soprano. Shoot me. PGP.

“Your monthly bill is now available to view.” PGP.

Putting on headphones that aren’t even plugged into anything in order to avoid office discourse. PGP.