Things Girls Do After Graduation: Sip & Paint Class

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Things Girls Do After Graduation: Sip & Paint Class

At Katie’s will, all the girls gathered after work at a centrally-located wine bar. The conversation began with a slew of half-hugs, shrieks, and cheek kisses before they sat down and pestered the waiter for the happy hour specials. All ordering identical glasses of a Sauvignon Blanc they had never heard of, Caroline spoke up to the group saying, “I am so excited for tonight!”

Alex immediately chimed in, “Oh. Em. Gee. Me too, but like, I am so not an artiste. This could get ugly, ladies.”

They all fake laugh at her, well knowing that she truly doesn’t have any artistic talent because she spends most of her time texting on an inclined treadmill in between arguing with a guy that the girls have still never met.

Victoria, the actual creative one of the group, sits proudly at the high top waiting for someone to bring up the fact that she’ll be incredible at the painting portion of the evening despite being drunk on half-off glasses of wine. As a graphic design major who now works as a part-time yoga instructor trying to “find herself,” Katie’s planning of the Sip & Paint class was a heaven sent night out.


Every girl reaches deep into their handbags checking to see if the text notification came into their identical Rose Gold iPhone 6 Plus 128 gigs.

She perks up and smiles coyly, “Oh, of course, it’s Todd.” This ignites a ten-minute conversation surrounding their relationship. “Do you love him? But do you LOVE love him? Is he the one? If you got married, when would it be? How’s his job? Does he have any cute friends?”

Deep inside, she couldn’t be happier that everyone seems so excited about them despite the fact that they had to leave the bar early on Halloween after she got too drunk and yelled at Todd for his resistance to dressing up like “Hotline Bling” Drake earlier that night. But even though she wants the conversation to last forever, she looks at her phone and sees that it’s almost time for the class.

“Finish your wine, bitches!” she exclaims as they all put on their pea coats in preparation for the November cold. After splitting the bill six ways despite all ordering the exact same thing, they pile out of the wine bar and walk two blocks to the Paint & Sip Studio where they take their seats and shoot the shit with the teacher.

“Have you girls been drinking already?” the teacher jokingly asks despite the room smelling like a vineyard.

Feeling “naughty,” all the girls begin to laugh and hit each other on the arm as if they’ve done something foolishly rebellious. Each holding their new glass of wine, they put on their smocks and position themselves in front of their canvases ready to get down to business.

“Today, we will be painting… a sunflower!” the teacher explains excitedly despite no one really listening as they stroke their brushes through oil paints in amazement of what they’re about to do. Meanwhile, the room fills with the sounds of text notifications and vibrates as none of them silenced their phones before the class, but Megan implemented a “tech timeout” for the “girls only” event, so no one is allowed to check who’s trying to contact them.

As they begin the class and the teacher Bob Ross’s everyone, the girls are clearly more focused on giggling and pouring more chardonnay than they are on intently creating a beautiful sunflower. The conversation flows between bachelorette parties, how they’re ecstatic wedding season is over, and who will be next to get engaged.

Victoria (again, the most artistic) sits intently trying to paint the most realistic portrait she can in hopes that someone will notice and gush over it, but to no avail. Hypothetical engagement ring chatter trumps her talents, and she sneakily finishes an entire bottle of wine to herself as she completes her painting.

After fielding even more questions about a potential Todd engagement (and the subsequent wedding hashtag they’ll use), everyone “finishes” their paintings which all seem to look similar in nature but much different based on the levels of consumption.

“Picture, ladies!” Megan requests as she hands her phone to the teacher. They take somewhere in the range of 40 to 50 photos before Megan adds it to their inner-squad Photostream so everyone can individually edit and post to Instagram over the next three days.

As they all begin clean up and head home, they individually call Ubers to their respective apartments.

“Hmm, maybe I’ll just go to Todd’s tonight,” she thinks as they say their goodbyes. “He’s probably asleep on the couch watching the game so I’ll just surprise him.”

Image via Shutterstock

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at

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