Things Girls Do After Graduation: Gossip

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Things Girls Do After Graduation: Gossip

Below is a text conversation between Megan and Caroline, two confused and concerned friends who are still riding the tail-end of a wine buzz after their Sip & Paint Class earlier that night.

Megan: O. M. G. Tonight was soooo fun. (“Praise Hands” Emoji, “Red Wine” Emoji, “Party Confetti” Eomji)

Caroline: I knoooow! I’m SO glad we organized it. We def need to make these a regular thing.

Megan: Uh duh. I’ll never turn down Wednesday buzz. I think a couple people might have drank a litttttle more than us though…

Caroline: So, like, have you heard from her? She never texted me when she got to Todd’s.

Megan: No, don’t y’all normally text when you’re “home safe” or whatevs?

Caroline: (“100” Emoji)

Megan: Do you have her on Find Friends?

Caroline: Oh, ha, dur. Lemme check.

Megan: I’m scared.

Caroline: Oh, I think she’s at Todd’s right now actually. He lives on 34th, right?

Megan: Yeah… should we text her still?

Caroline: I’ll do it, brbz.

*6 minutes pass*

Caroline: Sooooo yeah, she’s not responding.

Megan: Do you know what’s up with them? Like, I know we talked about them tonight but she just kind of, like, took the compliments.

Caroline: Idk. She like, doesn’t tell me a ton, but no news is good news. Right?

Megan: I guess… she’s never really told us a ton about them to begin with. (Sidebar: guess who just poured herself a glass of red…)

Caroline: lolololol, @badgirlmegmeg in the houuuuuse! (“Red Wine” Emojis x 8)

Megan: I just feel like Todd is never around and when he is we are always at a bar or shower or wedding or whatever.

Caroline: I think he works a lot… right?

Megan: Yeah, but doesn’t he work at the same place as that Tim guy you used to date?

Caroline: Oh, yeah. God, he was such a doucher. Idk what I was thinking.

Megan: Todd isn’t a tool, is he?

Caroline: No… I mean, I don’t think so? He puts out the cocky douchebag vibe but not in like a “cocky douchebag” way. He puts it how in the hot way. Does that make sense?

Megan: Totes. This is just, like, her first serious relationship since college and I feel like I know nothingggg about them.

Caroline: She STILL hasn’t texted me.

Megan: Def passed out. She chatted me at work today and said Todd had to work late tonight, so she probz is face down in his bed rn.

Caroline: Hahahaha standard. Is it weird if I like… pick Todd’s brain at Friendsgiving next week? The last time he and I talked was at Halloween and I don’t remember much tbh.

Megan: uhhh I don’t think any of us do….. (“Monkey With Hands Over Eyes” Emoji)

Caroline: #shambles

Megan: I’m def gonna quiz Todd with you at Friendsgiving. We had too much engagement talk tonight for us to know so basically nothing about him. And like… maybe he has some hot friends he can introduce me to……

Caroline: Get it girl (“Dancing Red Dress” Emoji x 3)

Megan: Don’t hate the playaaaaa.

Caroline: Umm no.

Megan: Sry. Wine talking. #badgirlmegmeg

Caroline: Shitttttttt. I just went on Find Friends again and she’s DEF not at Todd’s rn.


Caroline: What do we do, what do we do, what do we do?

Megan: No clue, would it be weird if I texted her now too?

*2 minutes pass*


Caroline: Shit, sorry! She just called me, still on the phone with her now, I’ll tell you everything tomorrow at work.

Megan: Ughhhh fiiiiine (“Red-Faced” Emoji x 2)

Image via Shutterstock

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at

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