Things Girls Do After Graduation: Be A Bridesmaid, Pt. II

This is a recurring PGP series. Catch up with all installments of Things Girls Do After Graduation by visiting the archive. If you’re having trouble keeping up with the characters, take a look at the character map.

Things Girls Do After Graduation: Be A Bridesmaid, Pt. II

Scanning the church for Todd, she sees nothing five minutes into the ceremony. “Where the hell could he be?” she thinks over and over to herself while Katie and Finn look longingly into each other’s eyes.

A creaking noise emerges from the back of the church and a head peeks in. No one notices aside from a select few plus-ones who were zoned out on their phones checking the score of the game. She looks up and shoots darts at Todd as he mouths, “I’m so sorry” before taking a seat toward the back of the church. Fuming, she stares at the back of Katie’s head until the ceremony ends and she walks back down the aisle.

Todd approaches her at the entrance and says how sorry he is for underestimating how much time it would take to get to the church.

“How could you–” she began, but soon realizes that a public fight could tarnish her reputation, and furthermore, cause her to be left off the guest list for future weddings. “I have to go take pictures. Behave yourself at cocktail hour, okay?”

“Okay, see you at the reception.”

* * *
All the plus-ones sit at the long head table waiting for the bridesmaids to make their entrance. Grumbling and wondering where the wedding party is, the awkward conversation about their careers continues while everyone attempts to pace themselves as three trips to the open bar before the dinner even starts could yield some dirty looks.

Drunk, the wedding planner begins shuffling around the reception telling everyone to remain in their seats as the wedding party has arrived and will be entering soon. The DJ, who consists of an iPad sitting on a six-foot long table covered in white linens, puts on “Bring Em Out” by TI.

One by one, everyone enters wearing neon throwaway plastic wayfarers before she emerges in the doorway with her accompanying groomsmen. They exit the doorway and she swings her bouquet of flowers above her head like a lasso before sitting down at the table next to Todd.

“How drunk are you?” she inquires with a demeaning tone despite the fact that she just drank an entire bottle of champagne on the trolly from the church to the venue.

“I’ve had, like, two cocktails. I’m fine,” he responds sincerely. “Hey, I got you a koozie before they were all taken!”

“Todd, I’m surprised you even showed up after that stunt you pulled at the church,” she fires back before getting interrupted by Katie who is rounding the table saying her hellos to everyone. They both put on fake smiles and tell her how beautiful she is before she responds, “Oh, stop it,” for the millionth time that night.

After each table makes their way from the buffet line to the bar to the table and back to the bar, the dust settles from Todd’s absence at the beginning of the ceremony. Through the Best Man and Maid of Honor speeches, she clings to his arm and daydreams about when it will be her turn in the spotlight, all in between thoughts of how she’d change the table arrangements which she considered to be “ugly” and “overly trendy.” Leaning over to Caroline, she says, “Ugh, she looks so skinny in that dress. What a bitch!” before they begin jokingly hitting each other for laughing just a little too loud.

“Alright, everyone to the dance floor!” screams the DJ, who is still just sitting at a table with his iPad and a microphone. In between “SexyBack” and “I Gotta Feeling,” she relentlessly pesters Todd to get on the dance floor. Distracted by the game on a tiny TV in the bar area, he finally relinquishes when he hears “Shout” come on.

“What a classic,” Todd says as he leads her to the dance floor. Between throwing their hands in the air and eventually kicking their feet while on their backs, spirits are high when the DJ interrupts the end of the song to announce that Finn will be taking the garter off Katie in the center of the dance floor.

With everyone giving out a hearty “Woo!”, she pushes Todd into the group of un-married guys positioned directly at the end of the dance floor. Rolling his eyes, he positions himself to the side of everyone in an effort to be a part of the tradition while also putting out a “this is stupid” vibe.

Finn, bringing his hands down to his knees with the garter in hand, flings his arms back and lets it soar through the air. The scotch buzz he’s feeling from all of his groomsmen feeding him drinks causes an errant throw to the side where only one person is standing. Sliding on the overly-varnished wood surface, everyone looks over at who the lucky single is.

Looking down with wide eyes and a sense of reluctance, Todd bends over and picks it up while everyone screams in celebration.

Image via Shutterstock

Email this to a friend


Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at

35 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account

Show Comments

For More Photos and Content

Latest podcasts

Download Our App

Take PGP with you. Get

New Stories

Load More